Leprechaun

I had to post something on St. Patrick's Day.

Images from: Wikipedia, leperchaun.wikia.com, http://www.luminarium.org/mythology/ireland/100conn.htm, http://andrewannenberg.com/Portfolio/WaterSprites/

Sounds from: Freesfx.co.uk, soundfxnow.com and soundbible.com
Music by Teknoaxe
Specifically: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6oOaEDXy3M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CylDcBfb4zY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I60-UDPEScQ

Miracle on 34th Street Audio Edition

Santa is more real than you think.  Don't believe me? Then listen to this.

Straight Up Reviews #2 Superman Returns

Well since Man of Steel is coming out in 5 days I figure I would torture you fans with a review of a Superman Movie that you guys all dread, Superman Returns.........Now that I taken the time to look around for torches and pitchforks let me tell you why.  Well it's because I like this movie.  Don't get me wrong I understand where the fans are coming from and I will point out the major flaws, but it won't make me hate this movie.  Hell some of my favorite reviewers at Channel Awesome hate it with a passion but that doesn't make me adhere to it. 
As with Teen Titans Go I am gonna go with a little personal history, as well as history of the franchise.

If you have seen my "Could It Exist In Real Life?" article on the blue bomb, you'll know I am a big fan of Christopher Reeve. Even as I write this article I am currently watching a Superman Marathon on YTV.  However I first got into the series by watching his third film. One of my earliest memories were of Clark Kent getting into a fist fight with Superman.  At the time I didn't know 2 things, one that Superman turned evil, in my point of view I thought that nerdy sloucher was being a dick for choking Superman.  And 2 that Superman and Clark Kent were one and the same.  As I grew up I gotten more into Superman, from watching the Lois and Clark and the Animated series.  My most recent mediums I have seen were this one and the Justice League. It was then and there I learned about the DC Universe and to an extent the DCAU. As well as the loved and hated Smallville.  While I understand why most hate the show and I'll get to that next time.  I do have one thing to say "Chris Reeve's last Performence is worth 10 years of Torture."  So naturally I am stoked that Man Of Steel is coming out.  Though it I must nitpick from what I see on the trailer.  I don't think Russel Crowe was a good choice to play Jor-El.  Don't get me wrong he's a great actor and I might be wrong since he did do things that Russel Crowe wouldn't be expected to do and succeeded. However to me he should have been Zod.  He's got the beard for it and it would sound awesome in his original voice to hear him shout "KNEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!" Anyway I ramble on. Now for some history.


Superman first debuted in 1939 by Canadian Joe Shuster and American Jerry Siegel.  Since then he has become not just a franchise but a legend.  Comics, Video Games, TV shows, Serials, DCAU.  There is not one medium that the Man of Steel has shown his face, or his S. There is not one person in the world that doesn't know him.  Some of which like myself treat him like he exists and that he's around, we just don't know where.   The story itself is like so.   The Planet Krypton is on the verge of collapse.  Jor-El, a local scientist and councilman tries to warn the higher ups, but they fail to listen.  Taking matters into his own hands, Jor-El takes his infant son, Kal-El and places him on a spaceship headed for earth.  The planet explodes, but Kal-El makes it out in time and his ship lands not too far from Kent Farm in Smallville Kansas.  The Kent Family take him in and adopt him as their son calling him Clark.  At the same time they discover that on earth he exhibits supernatural abilities such as super speed and strength.  Once old enough Clark finds out about his alien origins and sets off with remnants of his ship to find out who he really is.  Years later he gets a job as a mild mannered reporter for the daily planet.  However, when danger is near, he becomes Superman.  Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and Standing for Truth, Justice and the American way, (Till he gives up his citizenship.). He battles fearsome foes such as, Lex Luthor, a billionare Genius who discovers Superman's weakness, Brainiac an organic A.I. that is bent on self preservation and universe domination and Darkseid a god like being who seeks the Antilife equation. 

For further history read the comics or watch the movies.  Now onto Returns.

This movie takes place after the events of Superman 2.  Astrologers discovered what appear to be the remains of Krypton.  Searching for answers Superman built a ship and flew off.  The Journey itself took 5 years to complete.  At that time Superman, was absent things changed drastically.  Lois, bitter at his unexplained absence, won the Pulitzer prize for her article "Why The World Doesn't Need Superman."  and got together with Richard White, son of Perry White and apparently had a child together named Jason.  To make matters worse, Lex Luthor was released from prison and is out from revenge stealing the Crystals from the Fortress of Solitude.  After the 5 year Journey, Superman returns to earth to look for his place in the world once again.  As he struggles to keep up with the changing world, he tries to rekindle things with Lois and stop Luthor before he destroys metropolis.

I am gonna say exactly what the problems are both in universe and meta.  But as a challenge I am gonna try to find a way to solve said problems.

First and foremost is the journey itself.  According to Jor-El It took Kal-El thousands of years to get to Earth and through relativity, he only aged 3 years.  So wouldn't it take him, that exact same time to travel back to what was left of Krypton? Yes and no.  What people fail to realize is that there are a series of logical facts that are taken into account:

1.  Kal-El's infant ship was made only for the purpose of one way traveling.  So odds are that Jor-El couldn't make it go fast to save time, but at least fast enough to get him off planet.  There is also Time Dilation, the thousands of Krypton years could very well be the few of our years.

2. Even if that wasn't possible the other solution is the Fortress itself.  As Lex pointed out, Continents, weapons and vehicles are grown from the crystals.  Since Superman had enough time to spend in the fortress over the years, he may have been not only built a new ship but also improved the flight capabilities of it. Making his trip back much more quicker than the trip to earth. Hence the line "Gods are selfish beings that fly around in red capes and don't share their power with the world." Is true, from a certain point of view.  Of course he couldn't tell the world about his faster than light space travel, since it's forbidden to interfere with human history. 

 Now I know what you're thinking "Why didn't he just listen to Jor-El and accept that Krypton is dead."  As stated before, this film supposedly took place after 2, so if Zod, Ursa and Non survived odd are other Kryptonians are out there.  You can't blame the bastard for feeling alone in the universe.

The second problem that many people have with the movie is that it relies on fans of the Donner/Lester series.  I don't blame them from that.  The John Williams Music Cues, Marlon Brando, hell Lex Luthor's speech about land is said almost word for word.  Me I am a fan but I don't know the majority of Superman fans, because each majority is actually a sub majority.  There is an entire fandom that loves the comics, an entire fandom that loves the movies, and eventually when Man of Steel comes out, there is gonna be a majority based only on that.  However the fans I do know got their start on the Donner/Lester movies, hell I go on Youtube every day and see in most clips regarding Christopher Reeve.  Under the comments they all say the same thing "Reeve is the real Superman." Or  "They shouldn't have fired Donner."  Bryan Singer himself, stated that his first introduction to Superman was the original 3 hour cut that is only seen in some channels and that he wanted to share his experience with the audience.  I for one believed the guy, I mean he did give us X-men 1 and 2 after all.

The third problem I would call spoilers on, but almost every fan knows this one already.  Superman has a son.  Now this can be argued to death, even to this day people argued both how possible and impossible the situation was.  From the Mallrats argument of Superman's Sperm killing Lois to the baby itself punching a hole through her from a simple kick.   I would have been there agreeing with you guys if not for one small detail you all overlooked.  This same small detail, wins the argument that this movie was just a modernized sequel to the first two films and this I will call spoilers for since it does have to do with a movie that the majority fanbases love.  In Superman 2, Superman finally reveals his identity to Lois Lane.  He takes her to the Fortress of Solitude to tell her his origins.  It was then and there, he decides to become a human being so he could settle down with her and marry her.  In order to do that he is put into a machine, that causes concentrated beams of Red Sunlight to shine into him depowering him permanently.  After the process he does what he's been wanting to do since Superman 1, he bangs Lois.   And then in the end of the movie he erases her memory through a kiss.  While the odds are slim to none that they conceived a child during that....ahem....moment of passion.  There have been situations, both comic, TV, Movie, and animated series alike, where he has lost his powers and has taken advantage of it so he could have a romantic moment with his love interest.  Of course then Nu52 screwed that up by pairing him with Wonder Woman and as both a Batman/Wonder Woman and Superman/Lois Lane shipper that pissed me right off.  Nothing against two superheroes but it kinda ruins the romance.  With Batman and Lois Lane, they are mortals to the respective gods.  Ergo it makes them feel insecure, because as mortals they feel that they are inadequate to them and don't think they have a chance in the world.  However in the end they come to realize that Wonder Woman and Supes aren't looking for gods.  This makes good drama and in turn, make great romance. With Supes and Wonder Woman all it does is make me think of that episode of Smallville where Lana Lang and Clark Kent both have superpowers and shake the earth with their love making.  It's funny at first, but the novelty wears off.  But I ramble on.  The point though is, there are ways aside from a kryptonite condom for Supes to conceive a child, it's not rocket science. 

The fourth problem is relatively minor compared to above is Lex Luthor's plan.  The entire plan revolves around using one of the Crystals to create a Continent so he could sell it.  However there were two consequences he discovered upon testing it.  One is that the Krystal draws power from surrounding electrical areas, causing a temporary EMP that shuts off the power in nearby surroundings.  The other is that due to relative physics, two land masses can't occupy the same space without one destroying the other.  The latter fault will cause the deaths of billions.  Many fans contribute this as a problem for various reasons.  Among the few is Continent turning into Kyrptonite (Some even calling it cliche) and despite that Superman being able to lift it off the ground without it killing him.  I call bullshit on that for the various reasons.

1. Superman needs a weakness because otherwise he'd be too powerful and makes less interesting stories.
2. The Crystals didn't just copy the kryptonite it copied all the surrounding minerals under the sea: Salt, soil, sand, even traces of lead.  These in combo gave him temporary protection against the kryptonite while at the same time diluting it.
3. Superman has been known to withstand Kryptonite on some occasions and if not, rarely without some protection.  It's part of the character.  Even if he's powerless and not able to do anything, he is a determinator.  No, matter the odds he doesn't know when to quit.

The fifth and final reason is that there are no fights in it. Now those who've seen the movies/shows or read the comics would know that Superman has dealt with foes with his fists, from Darkseid to General Zod.  He even fought Luthor whilst the latter designed a kryptonite powered suit to gain an advantage. However in the case of Superman it is extremely justified that he doesn't fight all the time.  Many of the comics he was in save for the petty thugs he fought here and there, he has often tried to solve problems without resorting to violence.  The reason being was he wanted to set an example for humans that while there is nothing wrong with fighting for your beliefs, there is always a better alternative.  While I cannot wait for the first onscreen battle since Superman Fought the Zod Trio in 2, I hope they do not focus  all their power in entertaining us with just that.

Even after the flaws pointed out, do I still love Superman Returns? Yes.  Because enjoying a movie adaptation isn't about loving it and hating everyone else for not adhering to your view.  It's all about knowing the things you like about it, while accepting the faults.   A good enthusiast knows what they like, while a great one doesn't show ignorance of what's not to like. 

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More and Look up in the sky.

The Mighty Thor

What started as a horror comic, ended in becoming one of the founding members of the Avengers.  Thor was synonymous for being one of the first Mythological figures in the world becoming a superhero.  Most of the time Mythical Figures, Gods, Demons and so on have been usually side characters or off-screen supporters.  This character has had a comic series in both mainstream and ultimate marvel and many appearances on TV shows, movies and cartoon series.  Most infamously in the Incredible Hulk Returns. However unlike most comic fans I actually liked that incarnation of him better than The Avengers.......Now that I taken the time to watch out for lynchers. Let's ease the minds of those that don't know what I am talking about.

The story begins with Donald Blake. A partially disabled, man who while on vacation in Norway discovers Mjolnir a hammer that only those worthy enough can wield it's powers.  Upon grabbing it, Blake discovers that he is really Thor, the Norse God who was banished from Asgard by Odin in order to teach him humility.  Upon becoming Thor, Blake leads a double life saving the world foes.  Most notably Loki, Thor's adoptive brother, the god of mischief  who wants nothing more than to make Thor suffer.  Over the years Thor becomes a hero in his own right and becomes a member of the Avengers along with Iron Man and Captain America.

Now for the moment you all been waiting for.  Could It Exist In Real Life.

For starters I consider mythology to be real, exaggerated, but real and I'll tell you why.  There is no way in hell that stories as great as myths are pulled out of the sky.   Sure over the years the myths could be chewed up and told differently, but in order for them to be known in the first place. Someone somewhere would have had to witness these feats.

However you want more than just belief so I shall not disappoint you.

For proof of Thor, Loki and Odin one has to prove the existence of Asgard.  So doing some digging on how far back the myth went back to I discovered a poem Prose Edda written in the 13th century by Snorri Sturluson.  He believed that Asgard was located in Troy the same place the Greek Trojan War took place in.  Ah Snorri, you did defictionalizing before it was cool.   

Now if Asgard did exist in Troy, then in turn the inhabitants in Asgard also exists.  Much like the Holy Grail inadvertently proving the existence of King Arthur and to an extent Jesus of Nazareth .

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Verily Stay Tuned For More.

Trick R Treat

It's not Halloween but I thought I would go over this movie because I have heard so much about it. Yet I haven't seen it yet.  However I know enough to know the basics. Trick R Treat is one of the most underrated horror classics of the 2000s.  While most people were preoccupied with waiting for Twilight to come out and others were waiting to jeer Rob Zombie's Halloween.  The only sane people in the vast majority of horror and macabre went to see this movie. The movie itself was based off a short cartoon called Season's Greetings which involved a creepy kid going Trick r Treating.  Since then there have been a series of promos, most famously the holiday themed ones in which said kid starts messing with the other holidays for kicks.  He's already bumped off the Easter Bunny, who knows what he'll do to Santa.

Trick R Treat was an anthology series that focused less on the story and more on the tradition of Halloween.  5 stories revolve around one character or another breaking a certain tradition whether they intend to or not.  However despite no focus on story it does have a pattern in the form of a little kid in footie pajamas and wearing a burlap sack for a mask who serves as a constant reminder.  His name is Sam and he's here to tell you that if you break the rules of all Hallows Eve, you die either by his hand or by the hands of others. 

Now I know what you are thinking "There's no way the stuff in this movie can possibly exist right?" Let's find out.

First let's start with the rules of Halloween.  There are 4 spoken rules and one implied. These rules are violently enforced by Sam and others who go by them.

Rule #1 Always wear a costume.  This rule is relevant since it's not Halloween if you aren't in one sort of costume or another.  Hell Sam himself didn't take much effort in his and yet he's still the scariest thing in the holiday.  However it's also crucial in real life for the following reasons.  The first is that if you were to get lost during the night and people call the police to help search for you, it's rather easy to spot you in your described costume than it is when you are in regular clothes. Especially if you customized it yourself.  The second reason and it's the most important, you are most likely to get candy in costume than you are just going as yourself.  Not everyone can pull the "Serial killers look just like everyone else." look.

Rule #2 Pass out Treats.  If you choose not to go outside the least you can do is help contribute to the other Trick R Treater's fun by giving out candy.  It could even save your life if not for a few minutes as proven when Mr. Kreeg had a run in with Sam.  In real life however it keeps your house from getting egged. Though if you run out of candy that's an entirely different story.

Rule #3 Don't blow out the Jack O Lantern's.  Halloween is not over unless the day itself is over and Sam is there to remind you that in the form of a jagged lollipop.. In real life on the other hand there is no consequence for doing so....it's just rude.

Rule #4 Always check your candy.  Let Charlie be an example of why not only should you not steal from others, but you should always check your candy.  This is one of the more realistic rules since it not only applies to the movie, but also real life.  Unless you know the neighborhood really well.  You never really know what to expect when you are Trick R Treating. The candies could be drugged, poisoned and even some have razor blades embedded in them.  If there is any of those or other oddities that would harm you and or your children, call the authorities. 

And Rule #5 this rule is the only one neither spoken nor implied, yet we all follow it for our own safety.  Never go out alone.  This applies to real life as well because Halloween has had a record number of missing people. Most of them children.   This is mainly because the mayhem in Trick R Treating as well as the dark atmosphere would get any loner lost and at risk of bad things happening from muggings to even murder.   It's also way Rule 1 is highly emphasized since the majority people out on Halloween would be in costume. If your costume stands out its very easy for a parent, or a police officer to spot you should you get lost.  However if you are with a group of friends or family members you are more likely to come home safe.  Save for a severe stomach ache from eating too much candy. 

Now for the last one.  Could Sam Exist In Real Life? The answer is yes and no.  Sam is the embodiment of Samhain a celtic holiday that was believed to be the origins of Halloween. Back in those times should anyone not follow certain tradition, they were to be sacrificed to the gods.  Nowadays that's frowned upon. But that doesn't mean everyone doesn't stick to the old ways. 

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay tuned for more.

Nightmare On Elm Street

A Nightmare on Elm Street was one of the horror movies that put Wes Craven on the map.  The other two being The Hills Have Eyes and The Last House on The Left.  This franchise was one of the first that got me obsessed with horror movies as a genre because it was the first movie to scare me when I was a kid.  However Freddy scared me long before I even watched the series.  As said in my Star Trek analysis I am Canadian. Why this is relevant I will tell you.  When I was a kid my family took a trip to Niagara Falls, Ontario among most things we seen Marine Land and The Movie Land Wax Museum.  Among the sculptures we seen the Simpsons, Pumpkinhead, and Freddy Krueger. He'd be like 5 foot nothing compared to me now, but at the time he was 100 feet tall for all I cared.  Burnt face rotten hat and sweater and of course the claws.  However he didn't scare me much back then, because at the time I never even heard of Nightmare before.  My mother explained it for me and it wasn't until I was 11 when I first watched him.  It was the Third of the series so my mother thought it would be tame since many horror slasher sequels get funnier......She was wrong.  It wasn't until I looked it up later on that I found out that while Craven was given the boot on all, but 3 movies including the third. He was the writer of the third movie and it showed. This movie scared me so bad that I actually thought Freddy was gonna get me.  The series itself was a modest Franchise. It only had 7 movies, 1 remake, a video game and a few comics featuring Freddy.  Not to mention big biggest face off known only as Freddy vs Jason, but I'll get to Jason later. It was also the movie that started Johnny Depp's career into acting......ya don't expect the awkward goofy stuff you are used to in this one.  If anything he is the only sane person in that movie and that's saying alot.  Why am I doing this now instead of Summer the Haven of Horror? Because the town this movie took place in is called Springwood.

The story revolves around a group of kids, Nancy Thomson, Tina Gray, Rod Lane and Glen Lantz.  Tina has been suffering from horrible nightmares, of a man with razors on his right hand and is convinced that he can hurt her in the real world, as proven with claw marks on her clothing.  Nancy, Glen and Rod, who Tina is Dating at the time decide to spend the night with her, so she wouldn't sleep alone. At the time, Nancy tells Tina that she had a similar dream which scares Tina even more.  During the night Tina is coaxed into going outside after someone chucks rocks at her window.  Upon going outside she ends up being stocked by the man in her dreams.  However it turns out she didn't really go outside she was dreaming and found by Rod struggling in her bed.  To his horror she is being gutted, lifted and dragged all over the room.  The police arriving on the scene initially suspect Rod as he was the only one in the room with her.  However Nancy is convinced that he is innocent after she dreams of the same man.  When she gives the description of the man to her mother and father who's a local cop.  They immediately think she is crazy, yet the way they act was like they are hiding something.  However after some goading, her mother finally relents and tells her about the man.  His name is Fred Krueger, he was a filthy child murderer who was arrested, but was off on a technicality.  So the parents tracked him down and burned him alive.  Nancy decides enough is enough when she discovers she can pull things out of dreams. She then plans for a final showdown between her and Freddy in the real world.

Now  for the fun part Can It Exist In Real Life?

Let's start with Freddy first, not only does he exist, but there are 2 of them.  The first was a schoolyard bully that has taunted Wes Craven when he was a kid. The second was a man who fit the description of Freddy exactly in appearance who frequently stalked Craven.  These two incidences caused Wes to create a monster in his image.  As for the claw, it does exist in various forms.  It's a costume piece that can be found in any costume shop or thrift store. However for those who want the real thing, the movie flat out tells you how to build it in the opening scene.

Next is the dream concept.  Much of these concepts as unreal as they seem have truth to them  First and foremost, dream and sleep related deaths.   Wes himself once stated that he got the idea from an article on LA times involving kids that were having Nightmares so horrible that it killed them.  These articles also described the lengths they went to in order to stay awake such as hiding a coffee maker in their bedroom.  The stress itself in staying awake could also be a factor in their death as the combination of stress plus the caffeine overdose   However what I am about to tell you now, would be much more unreal, but keep an open mind.

The Second part of the Dream concept is getting injured or cut in some way.  We all heard the old stories of someone dreaming that they got cut  in a dream and it showed up in the exact spot.  Many have dismissed it as them scratching them-self at one point.  However I read an entry on Yahoo Questions that say otherwise. A user known as Bryce G asked if something like this is actually possible. One of the answers stated the obvious logical explanations. However also put in the possibility that when we dream rather than just be in our own beds in our own minds, we are in a parallel universe, and if we stay there long we'd be able to feel any sensations as real as this world.  Of course this could be considered word of mouth by the answering party that refers to itself as "?"

The third and last part is a concept that was crucial to saving Nancy. The ability to pull objects and people out of dreams.  Nancy was able to use this to fight Freddy on equal ground.  I didn't really think it possible until I read a rather interesting story.  On the website Psychic Experience, a user by the name of Paulie151 stated that he was able to pull a Skeleton Key into his dream.  This particular key never existed in the house Paulie was living in and he showed it to his parents and friends as proof.  However as soon as he forgot about the key it disappeared.  He attributed it to because he manifested it, he made it disappear.  This was the reason why Freddy kept coming back, because the Freddy Nancy was fighting wasn't the real Freddy, but her manifestation of it and it didn't go after her between 1 and 3 because she dismissed it.  It was her fear of him and belief that he existed that made him appear in the first place since before her and Tina there have been no known unsolved killings. In other words the reason for Freddy's existence is because of her and Tina. They brought him back and when they told others they made him stronger.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay tuned for more and pleasant dreams.........HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

FAQ

I just want to take time off to thank you guys for reading my blog.  I never thought I would get as far as 10 but 50, holy sh**.  I figure for my 51st post I might as well do an FAQ. I am gonna take questions that I assume you'd probably ask and answer them as plainly as possible.

1. What inspired you to do this?

Believe it or not it was actually a lot of things.  First was my ambition to become a filmmaker, I figured if I wanted to make movies one day I would have to see if I could make some of the most impossible things, possible in theory.  The second was my mother, we had a bit of a debate years ago about the nature of the fictional world. She believed it wasn't possible save for a few things and I was actually determined to prove otherwise.  The third is something you guys are not gonna believe.  I have a very strong empathy for fictional characters, it's bizarre but I react the same way to them as if they are standing next to me. If someone was good and gets hurt, I feel just as hurt for them. The best way would be Jaden Yuki in the Yu-gi-oh GX Series.  He had the uncanny ability to see "Spirits" of his cards and would react badly to them getting hurt than he would on just losing the game.  Though there have been hints that the cards were based off real monsters with in the show, but as far as everyone in the Yu-gi-oh universe was concerned that was only a myth.  But in a way I share that same empathy of sorts. Last but not least I wanted to be an internet reviewer like the guys at channel awesome. However like others before me I wanted to do something unique, something that would make me stand out.  So I did what most reviewers didn't, I try to find ways to make the mediums they review fit in a real life setting.

2. Who were your influences?

Well I was heavily influenced by Channel Awesome.  Nostalgia Critic and Linkara especially. However other influences included James Rolfe aka Angry Video Game Nerd,  Mathew Patrick aka Game Theory since his show is similar to what I am doing only he is more focused on defictionalizing video games, whilst I decide to tackle all mediums.

3. What is defictionalization?

Defictionalization is, where you take a concept from a fictional medium and you try to see if it exists in real life.  The word was coined from TV Tropes, but the concept has been around since the 1970s when the movie Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory hit theatres.  Though I'll explain why when I get to it.  However I'll give you a hint, it involves product placement.

4.  What is your favorite fictional medium?

Well that's a tough one because I like em all, but if I had to pick a personal favorite, it would be Movies, Games and Anime. Mainly because I grew up watching those mostly.

5. How does Folklore fit into the real world category?

Well I always believed that Folklore, Myths, and other Urban Legends have some grain of truth in them. I mean it's not like you can pull thousands of years of stories out of thin air, you need to witness some aspect of it.  The way I see it the formula for Folklore goes like so:  It starts out as a guy witnessing something incredible, he tells his friends, who tells their friends and so on. However in the process the story gets jumbled up and it then becomes a rumor.  This in turn becomes a story.  Because it's such a good story, it gets passed down from generation to generation until one day someone, a child perhaps asks "Is this for real?" Which sparks an argument between the people who heard the story.  This turns the story into a Myth because the term Myth literally means "It could be true."  Because that Myth becomes synonymous with the country or town it takes place in, it becomes Folklore.  Now look at fictional mediums today, we know most of them, like Superheroes and Monsters like Freddy and Jason, are not real.  However in 1000 years I would predict that they too will go through the Folklore formula, people would talk about these beings as if they existed at one point.  Criminals would scare each others with stories of the Batman.  Anti-Drug and Abstinence groups would scare developing teens with Jason Voorhees stories.  The possibilities are endless.

6. If you are neutral in the matters of faith why do you express your beliefs?
There is a fine line between being neutral and expression.  My beliefs while I consider facts only to myself, I treat like an opinion.  I can express my opinion so long as I don't try to shove it down your throats. In other words I only express my beliefs because of my freedom to do so rather than contradicting others in terms of fact. However when it comes to other faiths I do not say anything about them unless I did my research on them first. That being said I remain neutral.

7.  You seem to like mentioning Channel Awesome a lot why?
Well aside from being an influence in my life, it's actually helped me through rough patches. Their style of comedy and entertainment  has helped me get through those patches and I thank them for it. In return a direct insult to them is an insult to me too. There's a fine line between debating with them on matters and just simply calling them assholes only because you don't like their show.  If you don't like it don't watch.

8.  Why do you do web comics and jokes between articles?
Well I wanted to do a storyline between them much like Linkara does, but at the time I didn't want to do videos.  As for the jokes I was born on April Fools, if I wasn't a funny person I'd shame fellow April Fools.

9. Will you do Articles on fictional mediums you don't like?
Eventually.  Just because I don't like them doesn't mean there aren't some truth to them.  However I will not, ever under any circumstances do Twilight.  Hell I would take my chances with My Little Pony and I am not even a Brony. Hey that rhymed. However the main reason I am starting with the mediums I like is because I know them better than the ones I don't like.

10. Why won't you defictionalize Twilight?
 Ok I'll say it.  Twilight is the worst thing to happen to fiction.  First it takes Vampires, a concept that I have enjoyed from Dracula to Van Helsing and smashes it to bits.  Turning them from badass creatures of the night to sparkling, whiny wussies whose only concept true to the lore is drinking blood.  Second, take all the Vampire stuff out of the equation and you got the worst romance story in the world. It clearly let's women know that it's ok to have a boyfriend that controls every aspect of their lives and that they are nothing without him. While at the same time the one that does truly love her will never have her, because she has a warped view at what a true man is.  Take the entire supernatural aspect out of it, and its a Steve Wilkos special with a downer ending. I could totally see Steve tear Edward a new one. Third, unlike other vampire fictions where the vampire thing is only a minor inconvenience unless brought up then in that case they deal with it. This however brings it up every single damn time like Meyer was under the impression her readers are idiots. She may as well be in the movie with a picket sign saying "Oh did I mention he's a Vampire?"   Last but not least, they took the concept of the word Twilight and made it all about that series.  Everywhere I go whenever I mention the word they instantly think that series.  When I think Twilight I think the go between light and darkness, I think of one of the greatest Zelda games in the world. I even think of one of the greatest anthology series that ever graced television.  I do not think of this crap. However there is one thing I did like that Meyer didn't even bother with. Charlie Swann, Bella's dad.  Whenever there is a mysterious attack he calls the Cullens up first, when Bella mentions Edward he says something along the lines of "Isn't he a little old for you?" And the first thing he grabs nonchalantly is his shotgun when he answers the door.  It was almost like he knew the Cullens were vampires. Did Meyer develop this any further? No.  And let's talk about Meyer shall we?  Stephen King said when it comes to writing, write what you know.  If all Stephenie Meyer knows is that in order to succeed in life as girl is to have a boyfriend, that controls every aspect of your life, then what does that say about her own life?  Now I am only just guessing, but I believe that she got out of a bad relationship and rather than admit the guy in it was in the wrong she decides to immortalize him in story.  I am with Freud on this. If that is what she knew then she has some series F***ING problems. Get help. You can afford it now.

11. What do you hope to gain from defictionalization?
I hope to gain more open minds on the subject and I hope one day to inspire others to actually prove what I put up.

12.  If that's the case why put disclaimers?

I only advise not for them to try stuff like this at home because I know that not all my readers have any expertise on the stuff and could either get hurt and arrested. That being said I don't want to be blamed for it.  There's inspiration and there is being stupid. Don't be the latter.  If a person is truly qualified to do such an action then by all means do it.

13.  Who do you try to appeal to?
This blog is not only meant to appeal to movie geeks like me, but also scientists, historians and other experts on the matters that these mediums use.  I really hope that one of these experts would talk about this or at least try to contradict me.

14. How did you get the Wii Zapper and Identity Disc to work in your comics?
Obviously it's not real, however my weapons are Defiction incarnate, they represent every aspect of defictionlization I write on this blog. As for how, you figure it out.

15.  What do you personally hope to defiction?
That Zapper,  I myself am trying to figure out how to work that.  If I can't defictionalize my own work then there isn't point of dificitionalizing others. Then again to defiction my own I have to defiction others.

16.  What are your beliefs?
Well as mentioned in my articles I am an Agnostic Pagan,  however my beliefs stretch farther than just that.  My main belief is the concept of the Mutliverse and it's branch fictional realism.   For those who don't know the multiverse concept was a theory that there is more than one universe.  My belief in it stems from the fact that every fictional medium, from The Dark Tower series in books, to Atop The Fourth Wall's Warrior review, have covered the multiverse in various forms. As for fictional realism its a branch concept that is simple "If there is more than one universe, then there should be a universe, where fictional characters exist in the flesh."  However as mentioned before I am neutral.

17. What was your favorite article so far?
The Zelda Series,  I grew up with it and can't wait for the next one so I can defiction that too.

18. Are you out of your mind?
I can assure you I am quite sane.  Just extremely passionate on making the unreal, real.

19.What do you plan to do once this takes its course?
Unlike MissingNo I have no One goal in mind.  I got dozens of ideas I want to express. However as for what? Stay tuned and find out.

20.  What are your sources for images and research?
Aside from what is mentioned in the article, I get most of my research and images from various wikis. Except the comics and the bumper sticker I did that myself....ya I am a pretty crappy artist and i'm F***ING PROUD OF IT!!!! HA!!

21.  What do you have planned for your next article?
Stay tuned and find out.

Now if there are any actual questions you want to ask post them in the comments below.   

Star Wars

A long long time ago in an independent film studio far far away, a man named George Lucas, fresh off the success of American Graffiti came up with an idea. The idea was to make an adaptation to Flash Gordon for the big screen.  They said no, so he came up with a better idea snowballed from his earlier idea.  To make a film that incorporates Action, Sci-fi, Fantasy, Martial Arts and Westerns.  It became one of the worlds first multi-genre feature films: Star Wars.  This independent movie had 5 more in the series, a lot of TV shows, Video Games, Comics, Novels and an upcoming sequel trilogy.  As successful as it was, it wasn't without it's flaws.  For starters fans of the show are divided to which is the better ones, the Prequels or the Original, whether or not the the expanded universe of game/comics/novels is Canon to the movies.  Worse of all, whether or not the Force is a scientific or a magical concept. 

The series revolves around Luke Skywalker, a moisture farmer who wants something better out of life. He meets two travelers, C-3PO and R2-D2 two Rebel Droids (short for androids) That are on the run from the Empire, who seeks them because they have the schematics of their most powerful weapon: The Death Star.  A battle station that can destroy planets. Along the way they meet Obi-Wan Kenobi, a hermit that was a former Jedi Knight and Soldier of the Clone Wars.  He is sought out because the rebellion needs him to deliver the plans in order to find a weakness and destroy the Death Star.  However because he is too old and not much of the legendary warrior he used to be.  He asks Luke for help, but Luke is reluctant for fear of worrying his Aunt and Uncle.  However upon finding said Aunt and Uncle slaughtered by The Empire, he goes with them and along the way is being trained about the ways of the Jedi Knights.  They hire Han Solo, a local smuggler to pilot them on their mission and the adventure is on.


Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

Now the first thing to obviously start with The Force.  The Force is a source of power for all Jedi Knights it can be used for various ways such as moving objects with their mind and controlling the thoughts of the weak minded.  This can exist.   I already explained the concepts of Chi in my DBZ article so no need to go down that road.  However, there is still one elephant in the room I must address.  Midichlorians, I hate this topic not just because they took a concept that was considered magical and made it too science-y.  It was executed poorly.  For those who don't know what I am talking about, midichlorians are microscopic bacteria that share a symbiotic relationship with all living things. In layman's terms, the more of these specific germs you have, the stronger your ability with the force is. Now as stupid as this concept is, there is some truth to it.  I once believed that every living thing on the planet had some kind of psychic connection with each other. This was proven when some animals of their own species run in groups, wolves running in packs for example. As well as animals reaction to other superior or inferior animals.  We all seen that youtube video where the dogs are playing with polar bears. If that is not an example of a connection I don't know what is.  Anyway my point is that if there is some kind of connection like that, wouldn't it exist between bacteria and humans?  As a matter of fact it does.  We all know it as Probiotic or cultures.  A microscopic bacteria that is used for nothing more than to benefit the human body.   Unfortunately it doesn't give you the ability to choke your enemies with your mind.  Sorry Vader fans.  However it did help me to understand a quote Yoda said:

"For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”

What Yoda meant was it wasn't just your own power, but the power around all living things, from you, your friends, family, pets, even the microscopic life surrounding the moss covering the rocks you try to lift.  Then there is the Dark Side.  Ever notice that many of the Jedi Villains often get disfigured whenever they abuse their powers?  Palpatine, for example got burned by his own lightning.  I believe the condition isn't just from getting hit with it, or karma.  It's also physical.  The Force is like all sorts of energy real or fictional and if used too much could damage whoever is using it.  The force lightning for example started making Palpatine more frail and weak to the point where he couldn't duel with a lightsaber anymore. 

Next we have the Jedi Knights.  These people are often considered the closest thing to a police force. The motto says it all "Keepers of  Peace and Justice throughout the galaxy."  Could they exist?  Well not only do they exist, but they are a mix of dozens of different concepts.  As said before they are a police force, however since it's an entire galaxy they are tasked to look after, they are more than just local.  Infact the real life equivalent is ICPO, a world wide organization of police officers that are tasked to solving crimes should the criminal be spreeing all over the world rather than a local city. The second concept is in the name, "Jedi Knights."  And it shows since the council sits in a circle to discuss their business and treat each member as an equal.  Just like the legendary Knights of the Round Table.  Last but not least their religious belief in the force.  There are various groups real and fiction based on this belief that have often attributed in Justice in the name of whatever deity they worshiped.  However more prominently there are others that simply worship the spiritual energy alone.  The most famous is the Shaolin Monastery, they are not only dedicated to peace and justice, but also believe in the concept of Chi and have created a martial art surrounding said concept: Shaolin Gung Fu.  Or as you all know it as Kung Fu. Lucas himself admitted that they were the main inspiration for Jedi Knights and the Force.

Now the last concept is one that most people want to know: The Lightsaber. This can exist, however don't take my word for it.  Dr. Michio Kaku, is a scientist who is dedicated to making fictional scientific theories and statements true. His most famous concept was a real working lightsaber.  Look him up and you'll be surprised. 

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay tuned for more.  May the Force Be With You.

Indiana Jones

Indiana Jones has often been regarded as the Ultimate A-list B movie series. For it's intense action, over the top humor and horror on the supernatural level.  There have been 4 movies, a well regarded TV series and a whole lot of games and books.  Now before I get the basic plot out of the way I must get this elephant out of the room.  I do not hate Crystal Skull and those who do let it go.   First and foremost,  It's a Stephen Spielberg/George Lucas flick.  It should be no surprise to see aliens in it.  Second of all it was based around the a well known debatable concept that I will cover on this article. And third and foremost the Nuking the Fridge. One this entire series is based off of Movie Serials which have on occasion had their main characters escape impossible situations with nonsensical methods.  Two, this is also the same series that says you can survive falling out of an open plane with an inflatable raft. Get over it its not as bad as the Star Wars prequels.

Our story revolves around Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr.  A professor who teaches Archeology and goes on secret tasks for his museum of employment to recover rare antiquities.  Some of which take places in temples and caverns full of deadly traps.  The formula goes like so, he is hired to go after a certain artifact that contains a supernatural ability.  One of which is regarded as a religious item.  From here on in he goes into the Tug of War from hell as he and the enemies of the week  fight each other for possession of said item.

Now this is a little different since it focuses on each item of each film rather than the characters or plot devices.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

First and foremost the item that made the series famous.  The Ark of the Covenant, legend has it the ark contains the original ten commandments and according to the movie, could kill and rob the souls of people stupid enough to open it and look inside. It could exist but odds are it doesn't while the movie said it was found in Tanis Egypt however they are half right.  It seems among its abilities the Ark seems to have a habit of popping up in places all over Africa and Europe.  It has been rumored however that Howard Carter the famed Archeologist Jones was modeled mostly after discovered it's last location in the Legendary Boy King Tutankhaman's tomb.  I guess the Ark is with Top Men after all.  Top....Men.  But odds are like the other countries it left this one before they got their hands on it.

The Second Item is the Shiva Linga stone. One of 5 Sacred Stones given to Sankara to fight evil and now resides in a village to insure luck and hope that their crops will grow for food.   Surprisingly as controversial as this movie was, the stone exists.  It is called a Lingam which is a representative of the Hindu Deity Shiva. However unlike the movie where there was only 5, there are thousands, maybe even millions of stones all over all of Asia.  Each one representing something different in the religion.  As for Magical abilities I would have to see it for myself.

The Third Item is The Holy Grail.  We all know the story.  The cup that caught the blood of Jesus Christ and went missing.  It is also said that if the Holy Grail was proven true, that King Arthur as well as Arthurian Legend would also be proven true.  I at first didn't believe and item such as this could exist until I seen a Documentary.  Author Graham Phillips was actively searching for the grail and apparently he found it.  Throughout various clues he came into posession of a small stone cup which he believes to be the titular grail.  While most people call BS on it, I am a little more sketchy on it.  For one Jesus despite being prophesied as the son of God was often known as a humble carpenter in most of his portrayals. So its no surprise that his material possessions have no outer beauty to them.  However if this is the true grail I got one thing to say.  Change the name to Holy shot glass. Seriously if that is the actual holy F***ing Grail then Jesus must have been one hell of a drinking buddy.  But even if its not it watch the documentary to see for yourself It's called Author Graham Phillips and The Holy Grail Mystery.  He's not done though for he has been searching for other items of Arthurian and Christian Origin.  You could may as well call him Henry Jones Sr.

Now for my final words on the subject.  Like I said I would cover the whole aliens in Indiana Jones thing and I am doing that right now.  The entire aliens thing was based off a popular debatable topic on whether or not every god of every religion was really an alien in disguise.  That maybe all the divine power we have heard in stories was not only true, but basically a sign of advanced technology.  No I am not talking about Scientology.  Scientology believes every bit of religious example over the years was doctored including said divine power was just as fake as the people that claimed to have it.  What I am talking about though is that what if much of the power we claimed to see is really science we have yet to catch up with?  Even Indiana points out that the aliens in Crystal Skull were just Archeologists from another world.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay tuned for more. 

S.T. Filmmaker in: Unfinished Business

Writing that 34th Street In February made me realize that I gotta kill some time till the upcoming spring. So I paid a Father Time a visit.

While I was out I ran into another familiar friend someone I shoulda paid a visit to along time ago.

Rest assured they are alright but they should now think twice before false advertising people sick of the snow.

Miracle on 34th Street

Miracle on 34th Street was often considered one of the top contenders of the "The Christmas Movie"  A special unofficial rank among movie fans, Christmas enthusiasts and all around good people in general. it was also one of the first mediums to come up with the name Kris Kringle as an alternate name for Santa Claus and even pointed out the other different names in different nationalities.  The movie was remade 3 times, one of which stars now former child star Mara Wilson, who you might know as Matilda. She takes the role from another well known actress, Natalie Wood.

The story goes like so.  Kris Kringle, a kindly old man notices that a mall Santa is drunk before the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York.  He has the man reported to Doris Walker, one of the major employer/ees who hires him right away as the replacement.  Because of his great job at it, he is hired to be a full time Mall Santa.  Here it goes both up and downhill with subplots: For starters Kris directs one shopper to another store that sells what she is looking for, causing her to be a loyal customer for Macys.  This in turn causes their rival Gimbels to do the same with their customers, giving a temporary truce between the two.  Next we have Doris' daughter Susan, she was raised to not believe in Fairy Tales or other practical children's beliefs.  With the help of Fred Gailey, a lawyer and Doris neighbor/friend/love interest; visiting Kris and witnessing him communicate with a Dutch girl in her language, her faith begins to teeter totter on whether or not Santa is real.  Doris, who doesn't want her daughters feelings hurt tries to convince Kris to tell Susan he is not Santa Clause.  To her surprise, he insists that he is Santa.  So they offer a Psychological Evaluation to determine if Kris' delusional mind makes him dangerous.  However the man heading the evaluation,  Dr. Granville Sawyer is determined to prove he is.  This is strengthened by the fact that not only does he pass, but Kris managed to tick off the Dr. further by Psychoanalyzing him.  The last subplot involves Kris and Fred working together to put a stop to both Susan and Doris' disbelief in him.  It all comes around after a confrontation between Kris and Sawyer involves Kris getting arrested and put on trial.  It is then up to Fred Gailey to prove in open court that Kris Kringle is Santa Claus.

Now for the fun part Could Santa Claus Exist In Real Life?

Now let me go on record and say that while I remain neutral.  I personally believe in the existence of Santa Claus.  As for why I am doing this in February rather than December, well I feel the exact date of certain things should never really matter.  And to answer the unasked question.  I believe that he exists in spirit as a representation of all that is good in the world.  He may as well be the world's first superhero. However you guys are looking for more than hearsay, so here goes.

Santa can and has existed in various forms.  The most common is Saint Nikolaos of Myra or Saint Nicholas for short.  He was a 4th Century Greek Bishop who helped the poor in secret by sneaking in their homes and placing purses of gold in their homes at night.  However there were others.  The Dutch named Sinterklaas is where the name Santa Claus originated arrived by steam boat rather than sleigh. Instead of gold to the poor he was known to give gifts, chocolate letters and spice nuts to good children; whilst the naughty literally have to do community service delivering them. The Norse named Jolnir who was the inspiration for another movie "Santa Claus: The Movie"   As well as England's Father Christmas, who was known to wear green instead of red.  This attire was what inspired The Spirit of Christmas Presents look and Jolly personality.  However these are more or less regarded as myths and while myths can go either way. You all want to know if there is a real life Santa.

In a town called Hooksett, New Hampsire, a former engineer named Dick Marshall decided to spend the rest of his making Toys for kids every Christmas.  This man not only makes the toys with his "Elves" He also changed his appearance to look the part as Santa Claus.  The best part is the toys, the pictures and other things he offers are all for free. This man did all that kindess for $0.  And he isn't the only one. Many Santas pop up out in different countries.  Each one doing good deeds in various forms.  Much like the guy that made his own life sized train set, I have something in my eye.

As usual debate, argue and let me know if you know anyone that has done deeds that make them deserving of the title "Santa Claus."  Stay tuned for more.

Introduction

Welcome to "Could It Exist in Real life". This site is dedicated to defictionalization. A study to see if certain topics of fictional mediums could exist either literally or theoretically. The mediums include, Books, Movies, TV Shows, Cartoons, Anime, Video Games, and New Media.  Now these defictionalizations range from, gadgets, scientific theories and superpowers.  Yes, you heard that folks superpowers.  I put more emphasis on that for the following reason.  Many superpowers  are often split into three factors.  One, is that they are exaggerations of natural abilities that living being have. Two, performance enhancing chemicals and technological prosthetics.  Three, supernatural abilities. The latter is often debated, but its also been talked about since the beginning of time. So I treat it just as true. Does that mean I believe it's true?  It really depends, but I remain neutral on the subject, you can debate in the comments below.  Here's how the site goes. I will post one entry at a time of a different fictional medium.  I will discuss the possibilities of said defictionalizations existing either in literal form, theoretical form or both.  Then I would also talk about the pros and cons of said defictionalization.  However I shall not have all the fun. In the comments below I leave it to you to discuss things I missed or different facts and opinions. I will also use theories that have been discussed by other theorists off of shows and should I find a difference of either fact or opinion I will post that as part of it.  I do not however allow trolling. If someone trolls on my blog I shall block their comments.  Aside from that have fun and stay tuned.