S.T. Filmmaker in: Unfinished Business

Writing that 34th Street In February made me realize that I gotta kill some time till the upcoming spring. So I paid a Father Time a visit.

While I was out I ran into another familiar friend someone I shoulda paid a visit to along time ago.

Rest assured they are alright but they should now think twice before false advertising people sick of the snow.

Robocop

Robocop was one of the most definitive movies in the 80s.  It was one of Paul Verehoevens first American feature films and one of Peter Weller's well known roles. The movie deals with corrupt business, freedom of humanity as well as the need for law and order. It has had 2 sequels, 1 television series, 1 animated series, tons of video games and comics and an upcoming remake.  As well as a kickass theme song that just screams determination.

Our story goes like this.  We have Alex Murphy, one of the top cops of the Detroit Police Department.  The Police have been privatized by Omni Consumer Products or OCP for short and due to cut backs the cops are at higher risks than they ever been before.  With plans of Old Detroit being built over, the CEO known only as The Old Man wants to make sure the city is crime free.  His right hand man, Dick Jones comprised the idea of ED 209, a fully mechanized law enforcement robot built to respond to any threat.  However things go wrong and the robot kills one of OCP's employees during a routine test.  When things go bleak, it is up and coming Bob Morton that saves the meeting with his Robocop project which is ready as soon as some poor cop "Volunteers".  Unfortunately, that poor cop so happens to be Murphy who is shot and killed during an arrest gone wrong.  His torso and brain are saved and put under total body prosthesis where he is reborn as Robocop. A cyborg that has 400 foot pounds of strength, the fastest reflexes money can by and is fully protected by a titanium armor from head to toe.  Everything seems successful until he regains his old memories. Robocop then goes off to find out who he is and more importantly who killed him.

Now the question is Could Robocop Exist In Real Life?

The answer is an emphatic yes.  For you see every aspect of Robocop has been essentially a frankenstein monster of modern medical and military grade technology. 

For starters we have the total body prosthesis.  The arms and Legs have been replaced by fully advanced prosthetic.  While their real life equivalents aren't that advanced, they are getting there.  However there is one item that is already their on the list.  The Artificial heart.  Surprisingly it existed before Robocop even existed.The first one was invented by Robert Jarvik in 1982 as a means to keep the body alive between transplants. Since then it has evolved to the point where it now a step closer to be used as an alternative to transplanting. Bill Schroeder was able to have his for 620 days or 1 and a half year.  Because of it's similarity to a car engine, the movie made an in joke about Yamaha one day having their own brand of artificial heart.  If that's the case and I need a transplant, I'm getting a hemi.

The second thing is the armor.  As said before it is a titanium plating laminated with Kevlar.  However other similar armors today have had better results.  As I mentioned in my Power Rangers article, like that, Robo's is essentially an armored exoskeleton.  A famous example would be Project Grizzly created by Troy Hurtubise who made an armor that was used to protect himself from bear attacks.  In fact he has on record said that his first armor prototypes were inspired by Robocop.

Last but not least is OCP.  It does exist, but don't worry it's not an evil company....yet. In fact its a defictionalization company.  They are dedicated to making products from movies and tv shows real.  From Tru-Blood, to Stay Puft Marshmallows and even Fight Club soap.  As we speak they along with many fans of the series are campaigning the Motor City to build a statue in Robocop's honor.  Still, I get the feeling one day they are gonna buy cops and kill an Alex Murphy to make their own personal Robocop.   Eh maybe I am just paranoid.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay tuned for more.

The Craft

Ok I think it's safe now.  After events I am too scared to mention out loud I decided to take a break from the New Media genre. 

The Craft was considered the Scream of Witchcraft movies.  Which is Ironic since Sidney is one of the witches.  It was regarded as a teeter totter between what was considered realistic and hollywood style magic. And it didn't stem from the truth.   Actress Fairuza Balk who is a real life Wiccan had also been technical advisor in order to make the film as realistic as possible.

The Story goes like so.  Sarah Bailey, a troubled suicidal teenager makes friends with a group of misfits:  Bonnie, who was burned in an accident that left her body covered in scars, Rochelle, the only other sane person in the movie who was constantly racially harassed, and Nancy Downs, a girl with a troubled homelife.  Sarah later discovers that the 3 are a witch coven who need a 4th in order to complete their circle.  However with Sarah they got more than they bargained for since she is the only one of the 4 that is a natural witch. (I'll get to this later.)  They start off by initiation to let Sarah in their coven and do simple spells in order to improve their lives.  Sarah's was a love spell to get even with a guy that spread rumors about her being promiscuous.  Bonnie's was to have her scars removed so she wouldn't hide herself anymore.  Rochelle was to have her racist bully suffer ultimate humiliation. Nancy was to find the source of power from the deity they worship Manon.  Needless to say they all work.  Especially Nancy who decides to use said power to gain more power until eventually she and her coven gain abilities similar to Sarah's natural abilities.  However as they enjoy their newfound power the spells they originally cast begin to backfire. The love spell caused the guy (Chris) to be violently obsessed with Sarah.  Bonnie becomes as vain as the people that picked on her.  Rochelle feels guilt and pity for the one she formerly hated.  Nancy begins to go mad with power and paranoia.  This causes a battle of wits and magic between the former friends as Sarah fights for her life.

Now the big question, Could It Exist In Real Life?

Now before I answer this one, I'll get this out of the way.  While I am neutral in terms of belief,  I am an Agnostic Pagan. However despite that, my knowledge of the subject is limited and anything else I find are from outside sources such as wikipedia and other things. So like Daria Morgendorffer says "If I'm wrong please correct." Oh and don't try this at home blah blah blah.

First is the spells.  I already went on about Glamour during my Atop the Fourth Wall Article. So no need going down that road again.  The first spell they cast is a wishing spell, in which their specific wishes are granted.  The existence of it varies since many have either made wishes that come true and others chalk it up as coincidences.  However there is a matter of being careful and specific in what you wish for.  So far the only one that did by my shock was Nancy.  All she wished for was the means to invoke Manon and it snowballed into getting the spell book to invoke him. A simple wish that only backfired, because she used her power irresponsibly.  The other three however were more vague in their wishes.  Rochelle wanted her bully to feel the pain she felt when she was harassed by her.  However this backfired because she never thought it would make her feel bad for the bully.  Bonnie wanted to feel accepted by people that ridiculed her in the past.  However this in turned made her lose her humble and vulnerable personality and made her just as bad as the people she wanted to accept her. Sarah got the worst of it.  She wanted to teach a jerk a lesson by placing a love spell on him  However what she failed to realize is that a wish of that caliber could have dire consequences.  First he was simply noticing her and doing things for her whether he liked it or not.  She pretty much made him a slave and humiliated him the way he did to her.  However it got worse. He started calling her, stalking her and when he got her alone, he forced himself on her.  Why all these spells backfired I'll explain in the end.  The next spell which is the most prominent, invoking the spirits, this exists in many ways such as simply praying to summoning a spirit. Not just in Wicca either, every single religion, cult, or fad revolving around the supernatural has one form of invocation or another.  In this case they invoked Manon to give them power.  Nancy used it to be on equal power terms to Sarah, but because of a combination of her own problems and the power itself, she went crazy and paranoid.  She treated her friends more like minions to order around and Sarah like an enemy.  She used her powers to further her own selfish goals.  Sarah at first didn't want to do the same since she feared it would make her as bad as Nancy.  However when push came to shove she surrendered to the higher power who acted through her to stop her former friend and in the end, she got to keep her power.  Though she rarely uses it unless she needs it. Last but not least in the spell department is a simple one.  A binding spell.  This is real too.  A binding spell is a form of restriction magic that keeps whomever you are binding from harming others or harming themselves. It exists in every Wicca medium in the world.

Next we have the god Manon.  According to the Craft Coven. Manon is described as "If god and the devil were playing football, he'd be the stadium."  While this was mostly Hollywood hogwash, there is some truth to it.  Manon is a mix between different God and Goddess in Wicca and other related religions.  More specifically Mananan, the Gaelic god of the sea.  Rumor has it during the invocation scene on the beach, the waves became violent and when finished, the power went out on the set.  One wonders if they must have summoned something by accident.

Last but not least is a concept that has existed in the movie.  Something that has been overlooked by film critics and often debunked as "Reality is unrealistic" by those that do notice.  This concept is called "The Power of Three Times Three."  We all heard the old Karmic saying "What goes around, comes around."  Well in the case of the Craft, not only does it come around, but the caster gets it 3 times.  When I said the spells backfired, I was merely humoring and speaking in the point of views of those that watched it on the surface.  The spells didn't backfire, what happened was Nature giving back to them what they sent out times 3. The Wiccan shop keeper warned Sarah about it, but was rebuffed until it showed.  Even with her newfound power Nancy got it back three times in the form of an empowered Sarah defeating and depowering her.  Leaving her to suffer her own insanity in an institution.  This is what I mean by "Realistic Magic."  Had they all used their magic for good instead of evil their lives would have improved 3 times better.  As I explained it in The Atop The Fourth Wall Article, when Linkara was using his powers selfishly it came back to him 3 times.  Luckly for him, it wasn't cancelled out by his own doing but the help of another individual who used Glamour to make him see.  It's not just centered around magic, or even Wicca either.  Christianity calls it divine influence.  Middle Eastern Religions call it Karma.  Even science believes it to with the phrase "For every action there is an equal or opposite reaction."  All life as we know it, both natural and supernatural have followed this rule whether they know it or not.


As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay tuned for more.

The Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #2

Part two of my adventure. I was originally gonna do this once every 25 posts or so but this Joke was too easy to pass up. Click to zoom.

Team Four Star

I was originally gonna do an article on The Spoony Experiment, but seeing what he did to Nostalgia Critic......I was wisely afraid not to so.   Moving on here is Team Four Star.  What started as a bunch of anime geeks shortening and parodying their favorite Anime blossomed into a super team of comedians dedicating to killing us by making us laugh to death.  Team Four Star had a long history as both individuals and a group all together.  It all started with a man named LittleKuriboh, who decided to come up with an idea. "What if you could take a show, shorten it to the best and iconic parts, and make fun of it?"  His idea was Yugioh: The Abridged Series.  He took some of the most loveable characters, twisted them into semi-bizarro versions of themselves. Others followed suit, the most popular being Vegeta3986 and Masako X who created the Naruto Abridged Series,  Lanipator who created YuYu Hakasho the abridged series Megami33 who made the Sailor Moon abridged and Takahatta101 who made the Helsing abridged series.  However much like the Angry Video Game Nerd, their collabaration was not meant to be taken seriously.  It started as a side joke between Vegeta, Masako, Lani and another Abridger known as ITouchedYusuke who was on TeamDattabayo's Death Note Abridged.  I.T. suggested, well threatened the Trio into working together on a project that had nothing to do with their respective series.  This project became Dragon Ball Z: Dead Zone Abridged.  However much like AVGN, it became so popular that more had to be made.  Like all other abridged these characters became twisted versions of themselves:

* Goku went from a nice naive hero, to one of the dumbest people on the planet.
* Gohan went from a boy who didn't like to fight, to a foul mouthed blood thirsty warrior whose intelligence matched his ruthlessness.
* Krillin went from a lovable strong human, to a perverted useless coward.
* Bulma, to my surprise hasn't changed one bit.  Kudos to Megami for keeping to her character.
* Piccolo went from a tough antihero, to a tough antihero desperate for social activity.
* Kami went from a wise mentor to a somewhat senile jerk with a god complex
* And Mr. Popo went from.....duh I mean nothing's wrong with Mr. Popo he is perfectly ok in every way. O_O

Moving on. While it was mostly  for comedy there were various aspects that have intrigued me, some of which were seen on other comedy shows.  While others were concepts they came up with themselves. Some of which set off my defiction meter. Could It Exist In Real Life?

Let's start with the obvious.  It's awareness of the fourth wall.  Time and again each abridged series have made some reference to the fact that they are a web series.  Even the dumb Goku made that aware with the classic dialogue.
Raditz: I see you brought the Namekian Along
Goku: Actually that hasn't been explained yet.

What is it that compels characters to break the fourth wall? Is it scripted or are they really aware? I once again think of To Boldly Flee when thinking this, how a character takes on a life of their own.  This series is a perfect example of them on down time.  In case you don't know what I am talking about.  Characters on Down Time is a concept that has been done a long time ago where characters are aware of the fourth wall and often complain about it.  This was made famously in Space Jam when Bugs and Daffy complain about not getting money for likeness rights of their merchandise.  While this series and others progress through their story, the characters fluctuate between in story and down time through their jokes.  Why else would a show in the 80s -90s make jokes about Lady Gaga or 2012s Avengers?  This one is a grey area.

The other concept that intrigued me was something in universe.  The concept of the muffin button.  What started as a joke to prove the impossible ended up being an actual thing. A device that makes muffins appear.  It can exist. This is both a mix between my earlier talks of teleporter and the vibranium. Using particles to form it together rather than just forming elements and metal.  It's not impossible, but you would have to be a genius or an alien with advanced tech like Frieza's Ship.

As usual debate argue and let me know what I missed. I am gonna go hide for 3000 years. Or however long it takes for god like entities capable of horrid unspeakable acts to die.

Atop The Fourth Wall

Atop The Fourth Wall has been what I like to call the second of the original Channel Awesome Trinity. The first being Nostalgia Critic and the third being the Spoony Experiment.  In it's humble beginnings it was a text review site based only on reviewing comic books that have alot wrong with it, such as plot holes, controversies, bad art and all around bad ideas.  That is until a contest turned it into something more.  In 2008, reviewer Lewis Lovhaug submitted a video for a contest to come up with the best "Ask That Guy With The Glasses." Impersonator.  Lewis Lovhaug, the host of the reviews submitted a video of his own as "That Guy With The Hat."  As a result he killed two birds with one stone.  I'm surprised GlaDOS didn't find him after that........moving on.  He decided to do video reviews rather than text and also became a full fledged member of Channel Awesome, ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, and their subordinate Inked Reality.  At first it was a typical review show of CA quality: reviewing the respective medium and almost going insane from it.  However later on Lewis, or Linkara as he now calls himself has added his own storyline.  I don't know the exact origin of adding storylines came from, but my guess it was his apology for putting his fans through the same horrible ordeals of reading a bad comic.  It this show that partially inspired the character in my webcomic: S.T. Filmmaker, as the Wii Pistol S.T. uses was inspired by his trademark Magic Gun.  When I was first coming up with this blog I had a lot of wii stuff and one of the things  I had was cheap knock offs of the controller shells. One of which was a variation of the wii zapper in the shape of a cross between a flintlock gun and a sawed off shotgun. Any who I ramble on so here's the story.....

Along with reviewing comic books, Linkara moonlights as a superhero with access to magic and technology. Most famously his Magic Gun: A flintlock pistol that started out as his comic suicide prop whenever a comic becomes too much for him.  With the help of his friends and Robot Buddy Pollo, he defends the earth from threats such as Mad Scientist Doctor Insano, whom I mentioned in my TGWTG article. As he journeys through his life, we discover secrets behind his magic and the past of his friends. His formula goes like so:
* He reviews a comic.
* Makes jokes and references.
* Goes crazy.
* Doesn't Swear (Save for Hell, Damn, Ass, Crap and Bitch. All of which have double meanings.)
* Burns comic
* Shares his final thoughts on the end credits.
* Sometimes Storyline.
* Stinger Joke.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

First and foremost.  While I do try to keep my spoilers to a minimum most of my explanations are spoiler heavy. Normally I would let it pass on movies and shows, but I don't want to spoil anything for those just watching AT4W. So unless you haven't seen it I advise you to shut this blog off go watch AT4W.  You have been warned.

Ok let's start with the first concept of that of Pollo.  Like I have said in my Tron Legacy analysis, true AI is impossible.  However making a robot is a different story.  There have been various robots in the past that did various chores.  Most famously the assembly line Robot for car factories and the Robotic Arm in Space Shuttles.  However the most famous one now is Aiko the Android.  Le Trung created her back in 2007 in Canada starting with her head and kept at it until she had working arms.  She is also the first robot to feel pain as well as the sensation of touch.  And no you sick bastards she wasn't built for sex. Hell she even punches you if you try to cop a feel. Three Laws must have jumped out of the window. Why this example specifically?  His motivation for building her was because he was obsessed with Manga, more specifically Chobits a manga revolving around a boy and his female robotic companion.  Trung obsessed with Manga builds an android. Linkara obsessed with comics builds a robot.  If that is not the mother of all defictional holy S*** In the world. Still if Pollo is reading this Linkara won't hear the end of it about functioning arms. As for my remark about AI.  Trung is one of the few that got it right.

As for the concept of magic.  In the world of Atop the Fourth Wall, magic revolves around its wielder's state. If he/she uses magic for good, more power to them.  For evil it either cancels out or comes back to bite you in the ass.  This is by far the most realistic portrayal of magic I have ever seen since The Craft and I'll get to that why when I get to The Craft. However one specific spell on the show intrigued me.  "The Image Becomes Reality."  A spell he used to make his toys become the weapons they represented. For example fake power morphers become real morphers.  I originally thought it was something he made up on the spot. But doing some digging on some sites on fictional and realistic magics (pagan and wiccan mostly.) I couldn't find the proper key words in order to find a similar spell.  Then it hit me this of course was from The Craft, but I'll explain this one now.  Glamour a spell designed to make the user look, sound and feel like the person they are disguising themself as.  However as far as the Wiccan community is concerned, it's not a real spell.  However the concept behind it is quite similar to Linkara's spell. The only difference being his is cast on objects while Glamour is cast on people.  So even if it did work odds are it won't work on objects.  Though I am optimistic. Maybe Glamour isn't real but the concept behind it could be.

Last but not least there is the Magic Gun.  A spirit of a girl ruthlessly tortured to death in a ritual to create a weapon that a religious sect intended to use in their cause.  Could such objects exist in real life?  According to an urban legend there exists a Dybukk box. A wine cellar that contains a vengeful spirit.  However like that legend there are variations of spirits trapped in container like objects.  So far not one urban legend of a spirit trapped in a weapon.  So its in the grey, don't try it though just don't for various reasons.  One it's illegal. Two it's immoral. Three on the off chance it works it will get you. Four on the off chance it doesn't you'll spend your days in an insane asylum.

As usual debate, argue, and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned for more.

Angry Video Game Nerd

What started as a practical joke and escalated into one of the greatest internet phenoms in the world.  The Angry Video Game Nerd became synonymous with both retrogaming, retro movies and the net rolled into one.  In 2004 indie filmmaker James Rolfe decided as a joke to put two videos on youtube showcasing his least favorite of videogames.  His videos were well received and since then there is now 109 and a movie underway.  It was because of him that I was made aware of Channel Awesome and the Nostalgia Critic. Now the reason why I got to this later and put Karate Kid up first when I said I would dedicate my next posts focusing more on New Media.  It was because the game I mentioned in said article was the first episode of the titular Nerd I ever seen.

The story goes like so, we have the Nerd an adult child that dedicates his life to searching for the worst games ever made and try to beat them.  He moodswings between an intelligent game reviewer to an obscenity spewing, nitpicking, violent tempered individual that is gradually going crazier the more he loses the game he is reviewing.  When all is finished or he can take no more he sucks down Rolling Rock Beer to ease the pain.  Sometimes he is not alone for he has many enemies who force him to play the worse games based on them. From Freddy Krueger to Rob the Robot.  As he fights for his life he teaches us a valuable lesson: The enemies are easier to beat in real life than they are in their crappy games.  When he is not going crazy over his games he spends his life making the Nostlagia Critic's life a living hell or saving Chirstmas with Captain S.

Now the main question is Could Angry Video Game Nerd Exist In Real Life?

To put it bluntly yes.  He represents everyone who has played a game in their life. He was us when we missed the gap an inch away from jumping one platform to another.  He was us when the controller stuck or the light gun stopped working. He was us when ET killed the videogame industry.  He even was us when we found out Jessica Rabbit's phone number was changed into a sex hotline. Despite all that, we never change the way we play the games.  I myself have still often lost my temper whenever I lost a video game. My screams and swears can be heard from space louder than Reb Brown's JAKODAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!...................................................Now that I taken a moment to watch out for Spoony fan lynch mobs here's my final thoughts.  The Nerd was what helped most of us discover the lighter side of New Media.  Most of us would shut off the computer if all we saw was Chris Crocker or Don't Taze Me Bro.  And it was shows like that, which gave us net enthusiasts to fight back against SOPA.  The Nerd has been there for us for a laugh or too and will always be there long after games become Holodecks.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay tuned for more.