Pun Clock

Just a thing I got inspired to do by Dawn of Atop The Fourth Wall Live. Enjoy.

Puppet Master

One of the most underrated classics in the world.  Puppet master has been known to two things that rarely occur in a horror franchise.  It at first scares you with the obvious suspense and terror these little dolls have to offer but as well as mystify you with the story behind them.  This series has spawned 9 sequels,  a face off movie with Demonic Toys, (I'll get to that one eventually.)  and was the first movie to put Indie company: Full Moon Production on the map. However due to the multiple choice storyline of the sequels, I am gonna focus on just the first movie. Now I warn you, this may have spoilers.

The story starts off with a slight backstory. In 1939 California Eccentric, but kindly puppeteer Andre Toulon just put the finishing touches on his last puppet, The Jester.  What makes his puppets so unique is that not only do they not require strings, but they also can movie and have personalities of their own.  Another Puppet, Blade (Who latter became the mascot for the entire Puppet Master Franchise.) known for having a knife for a hand; rushes the Inn Toulon is staying at to warn him that two Gestapos are coming after him.  Toulon after storing the puppets shoots himself so that they don't know the secret to his puppetry.

50 Years later four psychic colleagues gather together at the Inn after receiving a psychic call from their friend, Neil Gallagher.  However upon arriving, they find out from his wife Megan,  that their friend shot himself.  That is not even the worse part.  While being plagued by visions of things to come, each one is being targeted and killed by  Toulon's puppets: Blade whom we know.  Pinhead a bulky puppet with great strenght, Tunneler a puppet with a drill for a head and Leech Woman who throws up deadly leeches.  As the body count rises, one psychic, Alex who has prophetic dreams and Megan survive to find out the shocking truth behind the murders as well as the secret to why the puppets are alive.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

Ok this one is gonna be a tricky one, but yes it can.

I will not discuss the psychic's abilities because many of them are rehashes of theories I put in my previous entries. As well as being Irrelevant to the true cast members, the puppets.  Seriously folks they actually just hand wave the psychic thing like it's an every day occurrence anyway.

Ok the puppets can no doubt exist in two ways.  One is that creating the puppets is easy, as they are just ordinary hand carved puppets without any strings.  But the main factor is bringing them to life.  The first way was what was explained in my Frankenstein analysis, in that the Puppets are a mix between creating a Homunculus and breathing life to it with the Elixir of life.  Alchemy had played a big role in this series.  However the second way is more or less an extension of the first way as I found the specific cause of their life bringing abilities.  Say hello to the White Powder Of Gold.  The White Powder of gold is a legendary substance that when mixed with ordinary water can produce the famed Elixir.  Legend has it that it was discovered in Ancient Egypt.  Why this is relevant? Because throughout the entire series including the first movie it was said that the puppets were brought to life by a mysterious formula found by Toulon in Egypt.  Said formula doesn't just bring inanimate objects to life, but also prolong death as demonstrated when Neil survived his intentional suicide.  It was said to have been lost but according to whitepowdergold.com they found it.  However I do advise against it for 2 reasons.  1.  If what Mathew Patrick said was true about Colloidal Silver, then you might get the same result from that or worse. 2. Even if it does work you shall live an eternity of torment, watching your friends and loved ones grow old and die while you stay young and alive.

As usual debate, argue, and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More. 

The Adventures of Professor Maple # 2 aka The Adventures of ST Filmmaker #7

I figured the normally Dark Comedic web comic was a little too Dark so I thought I would do something lighter.

Gremlins

Gremlins was considered one of the most influential fantasy horrors in the world.  It showed that even a nice holiday like Christmas can have it's darker moments, and even that not everything is as seems. From the minds of Stephen Spielberg, Joe Dante and Chris Columbus (Yes that one.)  It has also been one of 4 movies to be the first to adopt PG-13 Ratings. (The others being Temple of Doom, Poltergeist, and the original Clash of The Titans.) due to it's comically over the top violence, but not so scary enough to warrant an R rating. It has spawned a sequel and various games. It even became the inspiration of a once popular thing that I will get to later.

The story goes like so Randal Peltzer, an absent minded inventor was searching all throughout Chinatown to advertise his latest invention, the bathroom buddy. A swiss army knife like device, full of various bathroom hygene gadgets.  Along the way he is trying to get a Christmas present for his son Billy, a banker who is in love with the Christmas hating, but all around nice girl Kate Beringer. As well as running a foul of Ruby Deagle the owner of the bank who loves to talk about killing dogs.  Upon searching, Randal goes to an antique store run by Mr. Wing an elderly man who owns many strange and unusual items as well as his grandson who is more in the real world and wants to help his Grandfather's store make money.  Among these items is a Mogwai, an apparent cute cuddly creature that likes to sing.  Mr. Wing of course does not want to sell him because he's afraid that Peltzer wouldn't be ready to handle the responsibility.  However his grandson sells it anyway and instructs him on how to take care of the Mogwai with 3 straightforward rules.

1. Keep him away from bright lights, flashes could scare and harm him and direct sunlight will kill him.
2. Do not get him wet.  No bathes, no water to drink. 
3. The most important rule, no matter how much they beg, or how much they cry.....never....EVER.....feed him after midnight.

Randal takes the Mogwai, now named Gizmo home and gives it to Billy as an early Christmas present. Gizmo wins the entire family over (Hell even the dog likes him.) But Billy screws up and breaks the second rule.  Discovering that getting Gizmo wet can produce other Mogwais Asexually.  These ones however, are more aggressive than the kind hearted Gizmo.  (Except the one he gives to his science teacher. He only gets mad because of the blood test.) The most aggressive being Stripe, who is known for his Mohawk like stripe on his head. The Mogwais save for Gizmo tricks Billy into feeding after midnight and he discovers to their horror that they transform into terrfying havoc wreaking reptile like creatures bent on destroying their small town.  Billy, Gizmo and Kate must stop them before they find more water and do more damage. 

Now for the fun part.  Could it Exist In Real Life?

For starters, Gremlins were based off of an urban legend based off a practical Joke in World War II in which soldiers claimed that the reason their equipment have been Malfunctioning were because of tiny creatures sent by the Nazis to trash them.  This legend has been referenced throughout the entire movie.   However there is a grain of truth to it. While most regarded as fake there was a race of creatures mostly found in South America known as Duende's small Gnome like creatures that hide in the walls of buildings, only coming out when children or young adults are at play. The most famous example is a video of two kids playing kickball before spotting and screaming at a running Duende. This type of behavior is more benevolent than the titular Gremlins in this movie, but that doesn't scrap it completely since Mogwai are benevolent creatures most of the time

Now the other example is one more practical so practical that many people already know this already.   About 8 years after the release of Gremlins 2 Tiger Electronics came up with a toy.  Sort of a mechanical pet that can talk, move and even learn from it's surroundings.  That pet was called Furby.  Now I know what you're thinking "But that's just a coincidence, they aren't mogwai." But let's break down the similarities:
1.  Both are very cute and curious.
2.  Both have their own language but throughout time gradually learn how to speak English.
3. Both have multicolored fur and beak like mouths.

Hell Tiger Electronics even caught on to the similarities and created a Gizmo colored Furby, then later on an authentic looking version of Gizmo.

The only differences is they don't turn into Gremlins....yet.  And if you dump water on them they won't make more.  They would just short out and die.......now that I taken a moment to sink in the fact that I just ruined your childhood I am off.  A certain science created pet of my own needs help.

As usual, debate, argue, and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Oh one more thing. If your air conditioner goes on the fritz or your washing machine blows up or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repairman turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds, 'cause you never can tell there just might be a gremlin in your house.

Sesame Street

Now we all heard the theme song "Sunny day sleeping the clouds away." There is not one person on this planet even now that doesn't know Sesame Street.  Why? Because it's still going on.  No matter the controversies, the old fashioned comedy or even the deaths and/or leavings of many of it's original cast.  Sesame Street has no sign of stopping whatsoever. There's their currently ongoing show, various spin offs, games, and even so far two feature films.  However I will not go into whether or not the characters exist in real life.  I am saving that for The Muppet Show.  I am here to answer the question that has been asked for decades "Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street."  Before I answer that while it seems rare there is another question to answer. "What exactly is Sesame Street?"

Surprisingly while his Puppets and most of his cast were involved, Sesame Street wasn't created by the late great Jim Henson.

In 1966 television producer Joan Ganz Cooney and Vice President of Carnegie Foundation, Lloyd Morrisett wanted to create a show that in their own words. "Master the addictive qualities of television and do something good with them."  Such as helping children prepare for school.   After 2 years and funding from both Carnegie, Ford and the U.S. Federal Government; an organization was formed known as The Children's Television Workshop.  The show premiered a year later on Public Broadcasting Stations with mixed results.  However by now it has broadcasted to over 120 countries around the world.  It's format was rather simple for its time, using a combination of Puppetry (courtesy of Jim Henson himself.), live action segments, and animations. All of which designed to make kids laugh, as well as educate them on some things to prepare for in life and education.   However of all three the puppets were the most notable.  Even now we all know them by heart.
To name a few:

Big Bird: The 8 foot tall loveable bird who has a child like view of the world.

Oscar the Grouch: A monster dwelling in a trashcan.  If there was something we liked, he would hate with a passion..

Bert and Ernie: Those two guys, Bert would be the only sane man to Ernie's crazy antics.

While the show was well received it was not without it's share of controversies.  The most well known one being the Death of Mr. Hooper.  For those who don't know Mr. Hooper was the kindly owner of Hooper's store which sells just about anything including, Bird's trademark favorite beverage: Birdseed Milk Shakes.  The actor who played Hooper, Will Lee, died of a heart attack December 1982.  Rather than replace him like most kid shows would have done at the time; Sesame Street instead has had Mr. Hooper die off screen and rather than tip toe around it they handle it no different than a Very Special Episode of the average sitcom at the time.  In this episode, Big Bird and to an extent all the children in the audiences around the world learn about death for the first time in their life.  This move by Children's Television Workshop was meant so that any parents watching with their children could properly discuss death with them.  It also goes to show that despite all the whimsical and humor that goes on in Sesame Street, it's still no different than your street, or mine or the whole world.

Now for the fun part. Could It Exist In Real Life?  Yes it can in more ways than one.  For starters the end credits of the 1990s seasons you'll notice a few familiar landmarks in the animated sequence. One of which being the statue of Liberty.  So obviously Sesame Street is in New York.  However where in New York is a mystery. Just for kicks I typed it in the google maps and to my surprise I found 7 all of them in New York.  Now here's another surprise for you.   There are actually 8 and one of them is not like the others.  The 8th one is featured in the famous film "Follow That Bird."  In which there was a whole new Sesame Street made specifically for the movie.  The 8th Sesame Street is in Toronto Ontario Canada. I came to the logical conclusion that because Sesame Street is broadcast everywhere, that it is everywhere and nowhere at the same time.  Sesame Street is in a parallel dimension. A dimension where only child actors, muppets and celebrity guest stars can access.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More. And now you know how to get, how to get to Sesame Street. Ah Ah Ah.

Buried Alive

Well after taking on a oil puking dragon I realized I haven't done a CIEIR in a while so I will not dissappoint.  This one I have personal history with as it was one of the few movies I have seen during my childhood.  Like most of them, it was in glimpses and in this case I seen a man who I would now know as Tim Matheson screaming in a coffin. That image plus the title of the movie burned into my head for a long time.  Very few people have heard of Buried Alive however it has had a great history behind the scenes.  It was directed by Frank Darabont who was famous for works such as adapting Three of Stephen Kings stories and just recently created The Walking Dead.  So he is no stranger to coffins.  It also had an all star cast ranging from Otter from Animal House (The Aforementioned Matheson above.), Jennifer Jason Leigh of Ridgmount High Fame,  Willam Atherton whom you may know as Dick Thornburg of Die Hard or Walter "Dickless" Peck of Ghostbusters fame. (With apologies to him in advance I am sure he is a nice guy and real life and probably sick of the dick jokes.) and The late Hoyt Axton whom I know from another movie I will get to soon, Gremlins. 

The story begins with Clint Goodman (Matheson), a contractor who seems to have a good life.  A man whom through years of hard work in both New York City and the unnamed small town he lives in now; earned him a house he built with his bare hands and a construction company. He is also good friends and fishing buddies with the local Sheriff Sam Eberly (Axton).  However not all is well in his little world as his ungrateful bit---- excuse me, his loving wife, Joanna is resentful to him constantly for the peaceful life they have now.....wait why is that a bad thing!?  Anyway to make matters even worse Joanna is having an affair with local Doctor Cort Van Owen (Atherton) Who convinces her to kill him via poisoning so they could collect not only his life insurance but as well as the right to sell his company for a 1.5 million dollars.  Joanna does the deed and Clint is killed. Huh give Peck some credit, at least he intentionally tried to kill somebody this time.  However due to her eagerness to leave the town, as well as collect the money, she makes sure they don't autopsy him.  This comes back to bite them for it turns out Clint survived his attempted poisoning and digs his way out.  Upon collecting himself and finding out what happened, Clint decides that instead of simply shooting her and Cort he decides to enact a complicated scheme to get even with his wive and her lover.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the poison.  The fish itself is not named, but the way Cort describes it is that it's both a delicacy but also deadly if not done right.  The only delicacy in the world that is known for that is Fugu, a Japanese delicacy derived from what is commonly known as the Puffer Fish. As pointed out, if not prepared right, the fish can poison the consumer and it is one of the most deadliest poisons in the world. One of which has no known cure.  While it has no cure it can be worn off given the right amount of time and dosage.  As proven when Joanna carelessly only put a small amount in Clints wine.  He suffered the symptoms and went into cardiac arrest. He was alive for now but just clinically dead and paralyzed.  But because of the small dosage it wore off the night he was buried.  How he came back to life is another story.

And this story is rather simple.  Studies have shown a rare phenomena known as the Lazarus Syndrome, in which a person who is clinically dead spontaneously comes back to life when the heart just starts beating through mysterious circumstances.  Many Doctors have tried to invoke the syndrome over the years through the use of Adrenaline shots and defibrillators.  To this day no one knows why LS even happens.

Last but not least there is the aspect of being Buried Alive.  According to  Todayiknow.com  a human being can survive 2 hours being buried alive in a coffin because of the Oxygen being stored so long as they don't panic.  The site also said that if one were buried alive in a cheap flimsy coffin, much like the water damaged one Clint was placed in.  They could easily break out of it.  However I must stress that you do not try this at home.  You could kill yourself.  I don't care if you are a licensed stunt guy or an illusionist or even if you are just some adrenaline junkie looking for the next extreme. DO NOT DO THIS STUPID THING!!! However if you do find yourself in a situation where you are buried alive, make sure you have a cellphone with a good battery and signal reach.  It could save your life.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I miss.  Stay Tuned For More.

Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #6

Sorry this one took too long I had to redraw that evil Trainer Wannabe.  Anywho this is by far the longest darkest one of the series. Happy Canada Day everybody.