The Invisible Man

H.G. Wells. When not warning us about flesh eating Morlocks or Aliens that caused a real world national panic, he was writing about how mad you can go once you turn simple science into a terrible superpower.  The Invisible man was such a story.  It was one of the lesser known Universal Monsters, but has received enough adaptations to gain it's fair share of cult.  From movies, to TV shows, to a spot on the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. This story made us fear what we couldn't even see.


The story goes like so.  Meet Griffin, a scientist who specialized in optics, invented a formula that turns the user invisible.  Upon taking the formula, Griffin went mad with power and started a moodswing between trying to find a cure and terrorizing the populace with his new found ability.

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?  Yes, but it hasn't been made yet.

First let's get down to the obivous,  yes there are ways of making one invisible.  From certain color changes in clothes and decor in the form of camouflage Other things like using certain metals and technology to make you technically invisible to radars and other forms of detections, much like the stealth planes. Last but not least you have nature's original Invisible Man, the Chameleon.  While now, the color change on that one has been debunked as the result of temperature change;  There is still the mystery of how it always blends into the surrounding colors.  I theorize that it doesn't that it's simply flashing every color at once in milliseconds. Like that controversial seizure scene in Pokemon only faster.

Next and last this was something that just hit me.  While there is no chemical way so far to make us completely invisible.  Like the Chameleon there is a way to change our colors.  Now I know what you're thinking "-Insert Michael Jackson Joke Here-"   But no, there is a more natural way of doing so.  On Popular Mechanics For Kids, there was an episode on Worm Research.  They discovered that if you can change a worm's diet you can change their color from their natural pinkish/brownish to a glowing green.  How they did this, they refuse to say on account of Trade Secret and all that.  However it doesn't apply to worms only, humans can do it too.  For example if we eat too many carrots we absorb a biological pigment called Carotene that when enough is consumed, you can turn a bright orange.  Wow I think I just proved the existence of Tamaranianface.  There is also the Collidal Silver Mathew Pattrick of Game Theory fame. As well as the classic "Piss Blue" prank that Biomedical students play on one and other.  I recommend you not try the second 2 at home.

All and all the question is which chemicals would provide the same effect that Griffin figured out.  We may never know in our life time, but we can hope we never have to as the power of total invisibility is one that can drive you mad.  As proven with poor Griffin.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More and beware the Invisible Man.  He could be anywhere.  Even Behind you as you sit at your computer reading this.

The Shadow

What started out as a novel and a radio show that help start Orson Welles' career;  blossomed into a phenom that became the inspiration of superheroes such as Batman. Hell Detective Comics #27 Long before it became cool, The Shadow is considered one of the darkest Superheroes to ever hit the stations at the time.  It has had Radio Shows, Movie Serials, Comics, A feature length movie and a video game.   I myself got introduced to this particular crime fighter through said movie which I might add is dangerously underrated.

The Story goes like so.  Lamont Cranston, Billionaire Playboy is secretly a dark vigilante called The Shadow.  Who investigates crimes and fights the evils of New York's underbelly.  With the help of his Girlfriend/Assistant Margo Lane, his various agents stationed around the world and his ability to turn invisible.  The Shadow wages war on crime.  The concept was pretty clever at the time.  Have someone who has every characteristic of a villain: Various thugs, intimidating stature and even something as cliched as an evil laugh.  However he is the good guy.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

First and foremost is The Shadow's invisibility ability.  Nowadays thanks to the movie, it was changed to him having telepathy. -insert psychic organization I mentioned alot here-  However in the original stories he attributed his abilities to a technique called Self Hypnosis.  In which he hypnotizes himself and his intended victims into believing that he is invisible.  This does work in real life and there are schools of hypnosis available to potential therapists and magicians. 

Last but not least is The Shadow himself.  He does exist.  He is none other than David Copperfield.  I know laugh it up, call me crazy.  However let's get down to some factors that prove true.

Factor number 1:  His Magic.
Copperfield is a magician,  his techniques include sleight of hand, and self hypnosis.  His took on a grand scale by making us believe that he made the Statue of Liberty disappear.

Factor number 2: His Wealth.

Copperfield's Net Worth is $450 Million. He's not quite a billionaire, but  he is 50 million away from getting there.

Factor number 3: He has fought crime.

In April of 2006 he and two of his assistants were robbed at Gunpoint.  When they went to check his pockets they were empty. Little did they know, David used his skills on them.  It's alot easier to make your items disappear than people. Much like my theory on Prince Harry being Batman, it's laughable at first, but when you really look into it, it's quite plausible.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  The weed of crime bears bitter fruit, who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!

The Mummy

With Halloween Approaching I figured I should do more Horror Genre films.   Since I already did the original Universal Trio, I thought I would go for the lesser and more known ones.  The Mummy, much like the Wolfman, was not based on a Novel.  However in this case it's a per se, because it shares a striking resemblance to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Ring of Thoth.  Much like the other Universal monsters, This Egyptian Horror has it's fair share of giant legacy, from the 1932 movie starring Frankenstein himself Boris Karloff, in a dual role this time.  He not only plays the titular Mummy, but a character named Ardath Bay.  Among it's legacy was the well known remake trilogy Starring Brenden Fraser and Darkman's second actor Arnold Vosloo. So it's twice Vosloo is in bandages, but I'll get to Darkman soon enough.

The story goes like so.  Imhotep, a high priest of Ancient Egypt was mummified alive whilst trying to use a magic scroll to resurrect his diseased lover, Ankh-es-en-amon.  In the present 1932, he is dug up and accidentally revived by a group of Archeologists.  The resurrected Imhotep sets out to finish the job by finding and killing his reincarnated lover in the form of Helen Grosvenor  so both would be immortal bride and groom. 

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

First Mummies in general.  They do exists.  Mummification is a process in which the corpse is prepared for passage into the afterlife.  It's not just Egypt though,  various mummies exist throughout all over the world.  Even our modern funeral practices are a form of Mummification one way or another.  As for mummifying them alive, that's impossible as being mummified is basically like being dissected.  If one were alive during the process, all they would have to do is take out a vital organ and your dead.  This was where the remake was more realistic in the terms.  While being mummified alive as punishment is next to impossible,  being buried alive is a different story.  In Ancient Egypt, if you committed a serious crime, among most punishments, you could get buried alive.  Odds are this is what happened to Karloff and Vosloo's Imhotep.

Second the, Scroll of Thoth.  This exists, but it's also known by another name.  The book of the dead.  An Egyptian Funerary Text that contains various magic spells.  No I am not just talking about the one in the remake either.  This Particular one was Ancient Egypt's equivalent to the holy bible as much of their passages involved safe passage to the afterlife, judgment to those being punished. and preservation of corpses.  Unlike the movie's examples which claim only one exist, there are various incarnations of this book.  Some of which actually carved on the tombs themselves.

Last but not least,  does Imhotep exist?  Yes, but unlike the way he's portrayed in the movies, he is not evil.  He is not even a priest.  This particular Imhotep is actually one of the world's first engineers, architects and physicians. He designed the Pyramid of Pharaoh Djoser and was one of the first builders to make use of Columns.  When I was a kid I watched the remakes and when I heard this guy existed I was scared shitless.  All I could think of was "Holy shit this guy is real he's gonna come back from the dead and kill us all!!!"  But when I found out what he was really about I have an odd respect for him.  However much of the movie version exists through him in a certain point of view.  There were cults dedicated to him.  Imagine that scene in the remake where all the people mentally enslaved are chanting the name.  That practically fucking happened.

However Imhotep wasn't the only inspiration for this Titular Mummy.  As I mentioned in my Indiana Jones Analysis, there was an archeological group lead by Howard Carter.  They were the ones who dug up Tutankhamen aka King Tut.  The titular curse of that dig was another main inspiration for this movie.  So odds are Imhotep could really be Tut and simply posed as the well known Architect or the real Imhotep went nuts.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More and Beware the Mummy's Curse. Imhotep.....Imhotep.....Imhotep......

Top 10 Crappy Pick Up Lines of George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg

Well with Jurassic Park IV and Disney's Star Wars being in development hell I might as well crack a few jokes at the expense of their respective Filmmakers Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.  While I respect the hell out of them.  I also dislike much of their film choices in the dreaded late 90s early 2000s period as at the time they both violated the sacred pact of a good filmmaker "If it ain't Broke. Don't fix it."  So I warn you so called "pure" fans that much of what I say may insult them.  You can flame me all you want, but don't ever say I show disrespect.  Anywho the reason for this specific list is because I often noticed in both their films, much of their romance scenes often sound like the heroes are trying to pick up their respective love interests like they were at a bar.  The famous example being Han and Leia's Dialogue In Empire Strikes Back, when he assumed she didn't want him to leave because of her feelings for him.

This list goes like so.  10 lines, 5 for each filmmaker.  These are meant to be crappy, but if you get a good laugh from them more power to you.  Let's Start With Lucas.

10. I always shoot first.
9. I got away with duck tits, who knows what I can do with you.
8. Wanna see my lightsaber?
7. The hornyness is strong with this one.
6. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can ever imagine.


Now Spielberg

5. You're gonna need a bigger bed.
4. Do I have a Walkie Talkie in my pocket or am I just happy?
3. To me X always marks the spot.
2. You know that boulder chasing Indy? Look down.
1. How about I have a close encounter with all three of you.


In the comments below I encourage all who read this to come up with lines that work with your favorite filmmakers.  I am actually curious to what you come up with.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Bonus for both of them:

For Lucas: I'm ashamed of the Holiday Special, but I'm not ashamed of you.
For Spielberg: Schindler's not the only one with a list. Look at my black book.

Straight Up Reviews #9: Breaking Bad: Felina

Ok first of all I did not watch the entire series, however as I speak I am gonna go episode after episode to catch up to this.  Second of all I shall warn you.  Not only where they'll be spoilers, but there may be bad grammar and coarse language.  Because I am so fucking excited about this I might screw up.  Since odds are friends of mine who hasn't seen this show are gonna be reading this so I am gonna block out any spoiling test.  Be warned if you haven't seen the show, do not highlight over the blocks.  Like this.

For those who don't know what the hell I am talking about I'll give you a brief summary of the series.  In Albuquerque New Mexico, there lives a chemistry teacher named Walter White.  He is a mild mannered citizen with a loving wife, a snarky, but well meaning son who has cerebral palsy and a baby on the way.  His life seems complete, until around his 50th birthday.  He discovers he has lung cancer. Which not only means he is gonna die, but his impending death will leave his family in financial ruin.  During a ride-a-long with his DEA brother in law Hank, he discovers a former student of his: Jesse Pinkman is a cook/dealer in Methamphetamines aka Crystal Meth.  Rather than turn him in, Walter propositions Jesse for a partnership and cooks up a brand new batch.  This specific batch turns out to be the purist stuff on the market.  It is then and there that Walt and Jess go from two bit dealers, to the most well known well feared criminals in all of New Mexico.  However not all is good for Walt has to keep his secret life a...well secret from his family.  To make matters worse, Hank is in pursuit of the man responsible for the drugs and the crimes surrounding them.  He doesn't even know he is closer than he thinks.  This also sparks a change in Walt's personality as he goes from a loving family man, to an cold, ruthless crime lord.

Now I am only reviewing Felina because that is by far the best ending to a series to date and I'll tell you why.  It not only ties up the recent loose ends of the season, from Walt reconciling with his Wife Skyler, to destroying the Neo-Nazi Dealer's compound freeing Jesse from his....well what should I call it.  I guess the perfect thing to call it would be a Modern Day Equivalent to a concentration camp.  Even killing Lydia with the Ricin.  That was the icing on the cake for me because I hated that bitch.  I mean Walt and Sky were no fucking saint's themselves, but because of Lydia three men threatened a mother and a baby.  And the best part is, Lyd-bitch gets it worse than the others.  Though the others got it pretty bad.  You knew that M60 was gonna be used one way or another even if Walt gets' caught in the crossfire.  Anyway I ramble on.  The other loose ends get tied throughout all the seasons too.  Walt finally finds a way to give his family the money he intended, Skyler is finally free of prosecution, Walt risks it all to save Jesse and best part is, the cancer doesn't get him in the end.  I guess you could say this was Walt's Bizarro Doc Holliday moment.

All and all it not only gives solid answers rather than just pull a Sopranos and end in mid sent-----   Wow where the fuck did that come from? Anyway all loose ends are tied,  we get an ending that satisfies both sides of the fandoms and the moral guardian's can't say shit about the ending, because the bad guy they claimed is promoting meth use because of this show is now dead and buried.



All and all from what I seen so far between the pilot and the Felina I know that even though the show is over. It will have a lasting impact in our lives as well as the history of television. Now I know I am forgetting something. Oh yes that's it, now normally I would block this spoiler, but because it's coming very soon, it won't be a spoiler any longer. Saul will be back, as he get's his own spin off show. When you go on AMC be sure to tune in. I know I will, but until then I will watch every episode of every season of this show so I can finally catch up.




As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More. Oh and to any other defictionalizers out there I have this to say "Stay out of my Territory." Nah I'm just teasing, when it comes to making fiction real I need all the help I can get.

Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #20

This is by far my most laziest one, but I wanted to get some Exposition out of the way so enjoy. And it's Nintendo bought Sega, but I figured the other gun should be a ditz.

South Park

What started out as a video christmas card, ended up being a long running series rivaling that of the Simpsons and Family Guy.  South Park was well known for it's intelligent satirical status overshadowed by it's many controversial forms of humor.  From vulgar subjects such as kids swearing, sex and violence to political, religious and all around topics no other show dared to cross, this show has no sign of losing it's touch.  When I was a kid I first caught South Park on late night Teletoon (Canada's answer to Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon.).  My parents, went through great lengths to make sure I never watched the show in fear I would repeat some of the vulgar humor of that show.  When I was old enough, I was able to watch and understand it in all it's glory.  My mother even liked it and my grandmother was one of the only people in the world that could understand what Kenny was saying without any need to look at transcripts.  My mother even said that it was a hell of a lot better than Family Guy.  Still I watched South Park a lot earlier and never had my "Fragile little mind." shattered by it's effect.  That's bullshit and anyone who says otherwise I'll kick them Squahr in the Noots. Seriouisly.  Anywho onto the storyline.

The show surrounds the town of South Park Colorado.  4 foul mouthed eight year olds (Now 9 and one is 10)  Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflowski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick go on various misadventures.  Said adventures border between the following formulas:

1. Adult Stupidity gone horrifically wrong.
2. Supernatural figures influencing the world.
3. Politics going too far.
4. Religion related troubles.

And many more. 

Each boy has their own perosnality traits.

Stan, the unofficial leader of the group is essentially the most level headed. He tries to do what he feels is right and is often getting the most flack for it.

Kyle is Stan's best friend.  He is almost as level headed as Stan, but is easily lead to do stuff that is normally beneath him.  He is also Jewish and takes a lot of intolerant crap from the following next boy.

Cartman.  Where do I begin.  He is an overweight, spoiled, racist, greedy, sociopath, whose bigotry and temper get's the better of him.  Yet much of the lengths he goes through to achieve his goals, be it financial or political, we can't help but find him awesome.  He is the only person that Kyle would lose his composure against and sink low just to try to get him. 

And then there's Kenny.  Kenny is a poor kid who is the most mature.  Even if he does degrade to the same levels as Kyle and Cartman.  In the show's humble beginnings his existence was merely to get killed in various ways before they developed him.  You may now know him as Mysterion.

While the show does revolve around these characters mostly there are supporting characters both kid and adult that join in on the adventures.  From Randy Marsh, Stan's psycho manchild  of a father to Butters Stotch a kid whom has gone through so much it's a wonder he didn't snap; they all serve a purpose in either teaching the kids valuable lessons, or give them a reason to hate them.

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life? Yes.

First let's start with the main 4.

Stan and Kyle are their creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone respectively.  While they never truly met each other, until college. Much of what their characters' appearance and traits are based off of their experiences since they were kids.  Trey's father, who was also a geologist was the main inspiration for Randy Marsh.

Cartman is actually a composite character. Partial inspiration of him was based around Trey and Matt believing that they could make a character like All In The Family's Archie Bunker and make him a kid.  However the rest was based off all the darkest traits of humanity itself.  Greed, Racism, Selfishness, you name it, every bad trait  a human can be called out for, is personified by this person.  We cheer him on despite our hatred of him because in a way he is us.  Our bad side.  For example Cartman's hatred of Hippies stems from Trey's real life hatred of Hippies.

Last but not least is Kenny.  He was actually based off a childhood friend of Trey and Matt's.  Every Trait from his Orange Parka, his mumbled speech, his reputation for poverty and his tendancy of getting killed a lot. (The latter of which was mostly due to his absence from school.).  He is also another surrogate of us.

Now for the final question of the day.  Could South Park Colorado Exist in Real Life?  The answer is yes. If you are ever in Colorado, take the Route 285 near Denver.  There you'll find a grassland Basin.  Trey and Matt also stated that much of the fictional version of the Basin's history of weird shit was based around UFO sightings found in that particular Basin.  I theorize that South Park did exist as a town at one point and it was destroyed by said UFOs or sent to an alternate dimension and that most of the weird and stupid things happening to the town is the result of a Time Rift ala Torchwood.  Which I will get into soon.  But then again, it's word of mouth so I wouldn't really know unless I see for myself.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.  OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY, YOU BASTARDS!!!!