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Saturday, 23 March 2013

Top 5 Greatest Defictionalizors in Movie History

In this post I am gonna do something completely different.  I am gonna make a list of the best defictionalizors in movie history. While this top list is about defictionalizors its sad to say what happens does not exist in real life....yet. 

5.  The Thermiens from Galaxy Quest.

For those that don't know they are a race of  aliens who mistaken a popular Sci-Fi show as a real space battle and recruit the actors in a replica.  At first said actors save for William Sha--- I mean Jason Nesmith are reluctant and at first do a crappy job.  However after learning to work together and realizing what they missed on the show they become the heroes that they played on TV.  What's so great about the Thermiens is that not only are they obsessed fans of the "Historical Documents." But they went as far as using their advanced tech to recreate the ship and weapons for the actors to use.

4.  The Mexican Villagers from The Three Amigos.

Here is something that is like Galaxy Quest but without the space themes. Ironically this was made before Galaxy.  Three Actors, under the impression that a letter for help in Mexico was an offer for an acting gig. When they find out that's not the case rather than run they use their acting talents to save the day.  What makes the Villagers more awesome is that while unlike the Thermiens who were aided by their advanced technology.  These Villagers used what they can to help the Three win in the end. Showing that when a town is in danger and there's heroes to stand behind, the townspeople refuse to take any crap from the bad guys.

3. Charley Brewster from Fright Night.

Here's a guy that is obsessed with horror. However unlike some idiots that would walk in guns blazing and get killed for their troubles.  Charley has the sense to try to talk to someone else who could.  He started normally by talking to the cops, who of course don't believe him. Out of options he turns to Peter Vincent, actor and self proclaimed vampire slayer.  Vincent like others at first think Charley is a crazy fan. However upon his own encounter with the undead, he gets his act together and prepares to kick ass.  What makes Charley better than the other two is that he takes on his fair share of fights without getting bit. 

2.  Jeff from My Name is Bruce.

Imagine if Charely were a lot more paranoid than Tony Montana on a bender.   You would have Jeff a fan obsessed with the God of B movie Badasses, Bruce Campbell. When he accidentally unleashes a demon bent on killing him and his family bloodline (Which hilariously means his entire home town.) He calls the man who is less than thrilled thinking he is in another bad B movie.  Unlike the other 3 who face the challenge when Sh** gets real. Bruce promptly retreats.   What makes Jeff better than Charely though is while Charely is intentionally smart, Jeff is inadvertently smart. It only takes him calling Bruce intending to sacrifice himself to the monster to snap Bruce out of his funk and kick some Ash. Hail to the King indeed.

1. Ben Chapalski Aka Choda Boy from Orgazmo.
This guy should have his picture on the definition of Defictionalization. Here we have a man who plays a side kick in a low budget action, superhero, pornography, starring along side a Mormon Missionary playing the title role. But off screen he's a master martial artist, a former MIT Grad and an inventor who manages to make every single gadget from said movie, including the Orgazmorator. A laser like weapon that triggers sexual release on anyone it shoots.  But that's not all, he manages to recruit said Mormon to fight evil as the roles they played on screen.  This makes him both the defictionalizor and one of the two actors he defictionalizes.  Not only that but he also does something different.  In the porno they play in it's Orgazmo who's the leader and Choda Boy as the sidekick.  However the "Real" Orgazmo and Choda Boy's roles have reversed.  Ben becomes the leader because he made the gadgets as well as the strategies and this also makes him the mentor of the titular hero.  All this is the reason why he takes the number 1 spot.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned for More.

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