Oh my God, I didn't think this movie actually existed. I thought I imagined it. This was a movie I have not seen since I was around 6 years old. While most people got their Robot Fight genre start with shows and movies like Battletech, Gundam, Voltron and Transformers. This was the movie that started it for me. Until recently I had no idea that Stuart Gordon made this. So at the time this and Honey I Shrunk the Kids were my first official foray into the mind of this mad Genius.
The movie itself was directed by Gordon and screenplayed famed Science Fiction Author Joe Halderman. Neither got along due to creative differences and what they considered a mess ended up becoming one of the Wests' first foray into the Mech Fight Genre in a live action movie. Something that was succeeded by movies like Pacific Rim and even the Michael Bay Transformers franchise.
The movie itself stars Gary Graham and Anne-Marie Johnson, both of whom have a long career in Television. It also features Gordon regulars Robert Sampson whom you may remember as Dean Halsey in Re-Animator and Hillary Mason whom you've may have seen as Hillary Hartwick in Dolls. As well as Danny Kamekona. Aka Sato from Karate Kid Part II. It is also the film debut for legendary voice actor Jason Marsden.
The movie takes place 50 years into the future at the time. A nuclear holocaust during the Cold War, caused the remnants of humanity to rethink how to solve their territorial disputes. The surviving nations decided that all disputes will be settled through single combat. In a gladiator style match between two mech warriors and the champions that pilot them. Called Robot Jox. The main dispute seems to be between The Market, a stand in for all the allied nations at the time, mostly American. As well as their foes, The Confederation who seem to be a mash-up between the Soviet Union and The Nazi Party. The movie itself opens in Siberia, where the Confederation's Champion, Alexander has defeated his Market Opponent, who surrenders, due to being paralyzed from a broken back. Not that it saves him, where he has a philosophy that to truly defeat your opponent, you have to kill them. And he does with one single step of his robot. He then challenges the Market's greatest Champion. Achilles.
Through some exposition there is talk that the matches have become so heated that the Confederation is sending spies to the Market so they have an advantage over them. Which factored in the defeat of their recent Jox. Tex Conway, a former champ, who has the record of surviving 10 contracted fights, insists that Achilles should have been the one to fight Alexander, but Commissioner Jameson, who is the head of the Market Team, says they're saving him for last to fight for Alaska. Which has been said to have an abundance of natural resources such as oil and clean water. Achilles himself is not to thrilled about fighting Alexander, but since it's his 10th and last fight, he gets ready for it.
He spars with a new generation of Jox called GenJox. Named due to them being artificially created humans, genetically modified to be superior Jox. Of course like most sports teams, there is a bit of racism between the natural born humans and the GenJox, whom the human Jox nickname "Tubies". Ironically Tubi was where I found this movie after all these years. So take that Gattaca, Stuart Gordon and Joe Halderman predicted Gene Racism before you did.
Anywho, despite the prejudice, Achilles seems to taken a shine to the first female GenJox, Athena. Athena in turn is a huge fan of him and Tex during his Jox days. Often asking questions on how two ordinary humans could win such impossible battles and earn their status as national heroes.
As they prepare Achilles for his fight with Alexander, we get an insight to how the sport works. While it is an alternative to war, it is treated as a sport. A mashup between contact fighting and vehicular sports, like the Nascar Races and Demolition Derbies. With a team backing up the Robot and Jox to help them strategist and plan their moves carefully. There's even bets being placed.
In a cameo by legendary actor and Gordon Regular, Jeffery Combs. He and a buddy are placing bets on the fight. Only instead of money, the winner gets to have a stake in the team's stock market. Also, the movie takes place in a world where it's so bad to go outside, you need to wear medical masks. Sound familiar? I once wanted to ask Jeffery Combs how Herbert West would deal with Covid and I got my answer here. Placing bets on Robot fights was not what I expected, but at the same time, why wouldn't he?
The fight seems pretty straightforward. At a distance they fire projectile weapons at each other, with Achilles' Robot, having a secret green laser as his advantage. However due to the aformentioned spy stuff, it gets countered easily. Once close enough the referees declare long range weapons to be forbidden. So naturally they fight hand to hand. Alexander seems to gain an advantage, knocking Achilles down, but Achilles takes him down a peg and trips him. Causing him in desperation to fire his rocket hand, only for it to spin out of control and head for the bleachers. Achilles bravely tries to intercept it with his robot, only for the impact to knock him down and fall on the bleachers. Killing many an audience member.
Due to the tragedy of the events and no clear winner announced, the officials declare the match a draw and give them one week for a rematch to settle it. However Achilles quits citing his contract being up. The result of which labels him a coward and a traitor even amongst his fellow Jox. Alexander is naturally pissed off that he doesn't get to kill Achilles and Achilles despite the heated argument between them, officially passes the torch to Athena. By handing him her lucky jacket.
Now the one thing that irks me is that people label Achilles this and that for quitting, but the man accidentally killed the very audience he was trying to save. Needless to say that would fuck anyone up. At first I thought they were being careless morons, but it seems like they have total disregard for public safety in favour of the fight as Athena and another GenJox said they would have let the audience die just so Alexander could get eliminated on a technicality. That disgusts me and I'll tell you why. The entire idea of the Robot Jox matches is to minimize war casualties while still settling disputes by combat. If you let the very people this match is supposed to save die, then what's the fucking point?
Anywho the rest of the movie is dealt between Achilles life outside the Jox circuit as well as Athena's progress in training. With Achilles, he goes home and reuinites with his family. Whom in celebration of retirement is offering him dinner with real meat. As comically portrayed as a single hot dog in a pot of cooked beans. Despite the unconditional love they have for him, they received angry calls and death threats from fans claiming him to be a traitor. Meanwhile Athena and the other GenJox compete for Achilles' vaccant spot through a training session called The Rattle Room.
The Rattle Room is a jungle gym like structure in which the Jox have to climb up to enter a small hole at the top of the ceiling. However, the climb is not so easy. For various disasters such as breakaway and heated bars make it more difficult. Athena succeeds while the others fall and injure themselves. People thought this scene was pointless as they had no idea what this session has to do with being a Jox. I beg to differ. The course is constructed to look like the workings of an active robot and in the event you are thrown out of your bot, you need to use the skills necessary to climb back in and keep fighting. The structure could be too hot or broken to simply hang on.
Achilles sees Athena's achievement and is proud at first, but when he hears, she's going up against Alexander, he re-enlists. On the condition that no one is in the bleachers. Naturally Alexander is thrilled to be fighting Achilles and Athena is pissed. Tex, Achilles and their main scientist Dr. Matsumoto, discuss their battle plan and Matsumoto insists that only he knows the new weapons. So that there is no leakage. This causes Tex to suspect Matsumoto being a spy. However as it turns out, Matsumoto catches on that Tex is the true spy. Prompting Tex to kill him and make it look like suicide. Meanwhile Athena fights and tranquilizes Achilles so she can take his place. Achilles wakes up too late and Athena takes on Alexander. Tex claims that Matsumoto is the spy, making his secret weapons useless to them. However when Athena watches an instructional video on one of the weapons, she along with the rest of the Market find out to their horror that Tex is the spy and he killed Matsumoto. Matsumoto anticipated his death and left his camera on after recording his last instructional video. Now as much as I hate Tex, I give him credit for this. He doesn't try to hide himself, in fact he even tells them to watch the moment where he shoots Matsumoto. As if he's watching a great part of a movie. When the authorities come down on him, he not only flees, but kills himself in an epic hilarious fashion. By taking a swan dive off the the top of the Jox garage and falling to his death. Realizing that the weapons are useful after all Achilles coaches Athena, which gives her an advantage over Alexander, by blinding him and disarming one of his Robot's arms. However Alexander overwhelms her and lays a beatdown so savage, the referee tries to stop it by declaring him the winner. However Alexander is enraged that Achilles isn't the pilot and tries to kill Athena out of spite, risking a forfeit. Only for Achilles to arrive, getting Athena out and getting into the robot himself. The ref's aircraft gets knocked out, cementing Alexander's forfeit and giving the win to the market. However their fight isn't finished.
Both robot's take flight in space and Alexander destroys the heel of Achilles' robot, causing him to crash down. He switches his bot to tank mode to try to keep the fight going, but Achilles trumps him with I kid you not a chainsaw dick. Literally face fucking the bot. Achilles gets out and uses Alex's severed arm's rocket to destroy his Jox. Causing him to fall out. However the fight doesn't end there. Instead, both of them are Bot-less and beating the shit out of each other the old fashioned way. Achilles subdues Alexander and tells them, they don't have to kill each other, that they can live knowing they fought well. In a surprising change in heart, Alexander gives Achilles the RobotJox "Crash and Burn" salute, which Achilles accepts. Ending the movie.
The movie itself was made in 1987 and finished in 1989. However it didn't get released until 1990. Because it was filmed at the tail end of the Cold War and The Cold War officially ended in 1990, the public was not interested in seeing two sides fight each other anymore, even in giant robots. However because it was part of a legacy of films by Stuart Gordon and was apart of Joe Halderman's career in Science Fiction, it received a huge cult following. Which I believe will increase due to the recent tensions going on with the world and Russia right now. Gordon and Halderman didn't like working together on the film because each had their own ideas about it. Gordon just wanted to make a popcorn flick with fighting robots, while Halderman wanted to give it some substance with his political motifs. To them it seemed like a clashed mess, but to me, it gives an organic film and balances the stuff out well. I think everyone should watch it and maybe despite it's B-Movie status, it could get everyone thinking.
Now I can't close out this review without mentioning the effects. For a B-Movie, this had an effective special effects budget at the time, using a combination of miniatures, anamatronics and stop motion animation to give it the look that you are seeing Giant Robots fighting each other. This was before CGI replaced everything, so this was considered an impressive feat at the time.
Until next time, stay safe and Crash and Burn.
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