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Wednesday 23 November 2022

Straight Up Reviews: Get Out

 

Jordan Peele is probably one of the most interesting directors in the modern world.  When I was a kid, I first saw him on MadTV with his comedic Partner, Keegan Michael Key.  They stared in various sketches both solo and together, before moving on to make their own show, Key and Peele. Which I haven't seen, however their rising stardom has lead to many cameo appearances in other comedy shows like Rick and Morty as well as a feature length comedy called Keanu, in which the duo risk life and limb to rescue the titular cat.  So back in 2017 when I first heard that Peele was gonna make a horror movie, with little to no comedy whatsoever I only had one thing to say. "What the fuck? Nope."  Don't get me wrong, Key and Peele are no stranger to horror references, blood and gore but it was mostly played for Comedy. So I didn't think he'd have what it takes and passed on the movie.  Even when I heard it was a critical success, I didn't watch it. However it wasn't until after seeing him host The Twilight Zone in 2020 that I thought to give it a shot.  So one year after that, I watched the movie.  Needless to say I love it and regret doubting the man. The success was enough for him to not only cement his status into horror, but also use the fame and fortune he made to create two more horror movies.  The second being Us. Which I will get to. Now with the release of Nope, I thought it was time to take a look at the movie that started it all.

 

The movie stars Daniel Kaluuya, whom before this movie I only saw in Kick-Ass as the villain Black Death.  To think he came to this movie to escape the racism......ya. As well as Allison Williams, whom among most roles was on Sesame Street and also played Kate Middleton in biopic about her and Prince William,  Bradley Whitford, whom you may know as the smug jerk from Billy Madison. Don't mention business Ethics. Caleb Landry Jones, whom before played Banshee from X-Men First Class.  Stephen Root of King of the Hill and NewsRadio Fame. LaKeith Stanfield whom was also L from the live action Netflix Death Note movie.  Lil Rel Howery who would later go on to roast Bruce Willis. Betty Gabriel, who's acting debuted here.  Marcus Henderson of Pete's Dragon. And finally Catherine Keener whom many know as Maxine Lund of Being John Malkovich.  That last one's kinda important. 


The movie opens at night with Stanfield as a man walking down, what he considers creepy white suburbs, while talking to someone on the phone, presumably his girlfriend.  Giving him directions.  However just when things couldn't get any weirder for him, a white car passes him by only for it to U-Turn and head ominously towards him. In a smart move, the man, creeped out by the car, tries to go back the direction he came from, when he looks back to see if the car is following him again, he is momentarily distracted by the fact that the car is not only staying put, but the door is wide open.  Before he could react, the driver grabs him from behind.  The assailant a man in black clothes with a knight's helmet on his head to hide his face, puts the poor guy in a sleeperhold before dragging him back to the trunk of his car.  All the while "Run Rabbit Run" by Flannegan and Allen.  The movie then opens proper with the title sequence put in the footage of a side window POV of a car going along the woods.  With the music composed by Michael Abels. The main title theme called "Sikiliza Kwa Whanega" Which is Swahili for "Listen to your ancestors." Needless to say we can see where this is going. 

The movie then cuts to a montage of professional photographs, while Childish Gambino's "Redbone" plays.  The photos and the house belonging to Chris Washington (Kaluuya).   A professional photographer living in Brooklyn New York, with his girlfriend Rose Armitage (Williams).  They are packing their things and heading for Upstate, New York to meet her parents.  Chris is nervous, because as a black person with a white girlfriend, he's worried her parents might not only be racist, but don't even know she's dating a black person to boot. However, Rose reassures him that her parents are not racist, even going so far as mentioning that her dad would have voted for Obama a third time if given the chance. Ya.  I'm white with a little bit of native, but even I call bullshit on that and you'll know why later in the movie. 

As they drive to the house, we already get a glimpse of their relationship.  For one, Chris is a smoker, something Rose has tried to get him to quit. Going so far as throwing his cigarette out the window.  He calls his friend Rod, a lovable quirky man, who works at the TSA.  Now Rod is very interesting, because of a few things. One of which is that he plays a somewhat more positive depiction of TSA as opposed to the negative depictions they have in the past.  Another I will explain later.  Upon making some small talk, Rod gives cryptic advice such as "Don't go into a white girl's house." Just after Chris hangs up, they hit a deer that happened to be crossing the road.  Rose stays put while Chris looks for the deer, watching it die with a sad fixation on his face. The cops are called, despite said cop telling them to call animal control next time and despite Chris not driving, the cop asks for his license, which despite Chris willing to cooperate, Rose protests.  Now on the surface, we'd be inclined to side with Rose as it does come across as racial profiling.  However....well I'll explain after. 

They arrive at the Armitage estate where upon pulling in Chris sees a large black man (Henderson) raking leaves waving to Rose. Whom explains to Chris that, he's the Groundskeeper. After stopping the car they finally meet Roses parent's Dean and Missy Armitage (Whitford and Keener). Who seemingly take to Chris right away, greeting them with hugs. This shot was interesting as it was done at a distance rather than up close, with the audience barely hearing what they're all saying. Before the camera zooms out with the Groundskeeper watching them.  Again explain later. 

 They explain the incident with the deer, to which Dean appreciates in a twisted way.  However when he mentions them as nuisances, one gets the impression he's not really talking about deer. 

Dean takes Chris on a tour of the estate. The first room, Missy's office, whom is a psychologist.  The next stop, the family photo wall in which we see Rose and her little brother Jeremy (Jones) as kids. Dean mentions that Jeremy is studying to become a Neurosurgeon like him. Next to a family photo of the whole family including the grandparents Roman and Marianne.  As well as some souvenirs from Bali. Much of it coming across as Dean being unknowingly insensitive.  The tour then moves to another photo wall in which young Roman is depicted as a sprinter.  Dean explains that he lost the qualifying round to Jesse Owens, before Owens' famous run that pissed off Hitler in the 1936 Berlin Summer Olympics. The only door so far, that they don't open on tour leads to the basement, which Dean dismisses as due to "black mould".

The tour ends at the kitchen where Chris meets Georgina. The house maid, whom seems too happy to see Chris.  They finish the tour by walking through the backyard, passed the Groundskeeper, whom Dean calls Walter.  Before, Chris or even the audience can say it, Dean beats us all to it, by mentioning how cliche a white house full of black servants is.  Explaining that they hired Walter and Georgina to take care of his parents, when they became too sick to take care of themselves.  When they passed on, the Armitage family couldn't bare to fire them. Which seems heartwarming as it implies that rather than just being workers, they come to see the two as family.  Let's just say that's more truthful than you think. It later becomes funny when Dean mentions word for word exactly what Rose reassured Chris, that he would have voted for Obama for a third term.  Now when Whitford said that line he had no idea what his role in the movie was yet and actually seemed genuine in his performance. So needless to say, it comes into play later. 

As Walter is cutting the grass, with a push mower, the Armitages and Chris sit out on the patio having iced tea.  They get to know Chris who reveals his dad was out of the picture and his mom passed when he was younger from a hit and run driver.  Dean notices that Chris hand is trembling, which he immediately recognizes is a sign of cigarette withdrawal. Dean offers to have Missy help him out, using hypnotherapy, but both Rose and Chris refuse.  The Armitages mention that they came at the right time, because they're having a get together this weekend.  A party thrown as a tradition started by Roman, where he invites his friends for fun and games. A tradition that Dean carries in honour of his father.  All the while we see the first sign that not everything is what it seems.  As Georgina is refilling Chris' tea, she seems to fall into a trance before snapping herself out of it in time to accidentally spill some on the table.  Missy firmly and rudely tells her to go get some rest, prompting a glare from Rose.  Jeremy finally arrives, heading for the back yard because no one answered the door.

Later that night, Jeremy tells some embarrassing stories at the expense of his sister, including but not limited to reflexively biting the tongue off a previous date, that tried to slip him the tongue.  Missy goes to get dessert and we get a shot of, Georgina staring ominously through the kitchen before the door closes.  Jeremy discusses martial arts, with Chris mentioning he took Judo, while Jeremy is a practitioner of Ju Jitsu. Specifically stating that unlike Judo which involves strength, Ju Jitsu, involves the mind being 2 - 4 steps ahead of your opponent. He tries to demonstrate on Chris, but the family forbids it.  Now the thing that interests me about Jeremy is that in the ongoing theme of hidden racism in this movie, he's the only one of the group that is a little more open about his prejudice.  First acting friendly and affable, but then swinging to commenting on Chris' frame and "Genetic Make-Up" as he puts it. Whilst the rest of the family save for Rose come off as innocently insensitive. Think on that for a second. 

Rose vents about how, Jeremy has never acted that way around her previous boyfriends. And seemed shocked that they were all being racist in their own way.  Chris takes it in stride, but not without gloating slightly. Even assuring her that the party despite her insistence that it's the whitest thing he'll ever see, wouldn't possibly go wrong. They make up and have sex.  Later that night, Chris is still awake while Rose is sleeping. His mind still on the dead doe while a fly annoys him and he is creeped out by a lion plush staring at him. He kills the fly and turns the plush away before seeing an open closet door in Rose's room. Chris goes downstairs looking around the house, while Georgina passes him without him noticing.  Feeling a craving, Chris goes outside to have a smoke. Only to be startled by what seems to be Walter running towards him, only for him to pass by him. He is then scared by seeing Georgina apparently staring out the window at him.  When she's really just looking at her reflection.  Having enough surprises, Chris goes back inside only to be caught by Missy, who coerces him into her office.  They make small talk about how the hypnosis is supposed to work. While he jokes about the pocket watch method, she explains that hypnosis uses focal points that bring people into heightened suggestibility.  Little does poor Chris know, the focal point she's using is a silver spoon stirring and clinking against a china tea cup.  Using this, she brings up a traumatic memory of Chris. Making him relive his mother's death. In that he was at home watching TV, his mother was coming home late and while he was worried, he didn't do anything.  Blaming himself for her demise.   Missy uses this fear and sadness to first paralyze him then make him sink into the floor. Causing him to leave his memory and fall into a void where he can't speak out and his vision of the real world is being shown through a TV screen that seems to be drifting away from him as he falls, no matter how much he screams.  Missy calls this The Sunken Place. That is until Rose closes his eyes, shutting him in darkness.  When I first saw this scene, I could see why Peele made an excellent host for the Twilight Zone.  The whole scene comes across as an episode. The Sunken place being borderline supernatural.  According to Peele writing this scene made him cry. For reasons I will explain later. Now a lot of people whom have participated in hypnosis and hypnotherapy can tell you, that Hypnosis only works if you want it to work.  While I agree, they did make mention subtly why it worked on Chris despite his protests when he sunk.  It's because when he made the joke about the pocket watch, she remarks that he watches too much TV before joking about it herself.  Now because he's shown to have watched too much TV, he believes in the idea that hypnosis can happen against his will. Since he had no prior knowledge of the subject.  Not to mention there's somewhat of a secret to Missy, that could also explain it. 


S.T.: And that's not even getting started on stuff like MK-Ultra. 


Shut up S.T.

Chris wakes up the next morning to both Rose showering and his phone ringing. Rod texted him with a joke text of his dog Sid getting drunk.

Thinking what happened last night was a dream, Chris goes outside to take photos of the woods. He returns to the main yard with chairs set up for the party.  He spies through Georgina's window while she was adjusting her hair.  She catches him but he looks away taking more pictures.  Chris meets up with Walter while he is chopping wood. Whom among most things, talks a creepy way regarding Rose's beauty, while also revealing that Chris wasn't dreaming and that the hypnosis worked. As seen when he tries to light up a smoke, but couldn't out of disgust.

He explains to Rose what happened and Rose tries to be apologetic once again.  He also mentions that Walter may have a crush on Rose, by the way he spoke about her.  Rose dismisses it, jokes about it too.  However before they could continue talking the party guests arrive.  Walter is seen greeting them in a more friendly manner as he helps them out of their cars.  Chris and Rose tries to mingle with the guests, but they have a rather awkward way of making conversation. Which seems to invoke Sidney Poitier.  First they meet the Greenes. Gordon and Emily.  Gordon shows interest in Golf, which seems innocent at first, but when Gordon mentions Tiger Woods and asks Chris to see his form, they leave. Rose then introduces Chris to the Deets.  Nielsen and Lisa.  While Nielsen doesn't say a word, Lisa admires Chris's physique a little too much, touching his muscles and asking Rose if he's better in bed.  Naturally the move to another spot.  Meeting yet another old white couple.  Parker and April Dray. Parker seems to mention skin colour as though it were fashion trends. Or in his words "Black is in fashion." I'm not racist. I love and hate everyone equally, but I can't help but crack up when this Colonel Sanders lookalike said that.  Chris having enough of the positive prejudice, decides to go take pictures, hoping this would blow over soon.  As he does he sees what seems to be the only other black person in the party. A man named Logan King, who seems to dress in clothes too vintage for a modern man like him and seems to be talking strangely like Georgina and Walter. To make matters stranger, he's with an elderly white woman named Philomena.  Who seems to be his wife.  However that's not the only reason why Chris looks at him funny.  He seemed familiar to him.  

At his wits end, Chris, then runs into yet another white person,  Jim Hudson.  A famous Art Dealer whom has a mutual admiration with Chris, due to their interests in photography.  Unlike the other guests, he claims to be above ignorant stereotyping and that he mostly laments his inability to photograph, due to losing his eyes to blindness. Jim seems to provide some much needed relief as the one non-racist white guy of the group. Wait.

Chris retreats upstairs to Rose's room which causes a collective creep factor as the guests stop talking to each other and look up. Paying close attention to his movements.  

Upon entering his room, Chris finds his phone unplugged with his battery dead. He suspects Georgina may have unplugged it but doesn't know why.  When he talks to Rose about it, he insinuates that maybe Georgina doesn't like the idea of a white girl dating him and that she did that out of spite.  Prompting Rose to leave.  He calls Rod and informs him of how strange the scene is.  Mentioning that they act as if they never met a black person that hasn't worked for them.  He also mentions his hypnosis session, which Rod protests, claiming that Jeffery Dahmer did the same thing to his victims before killing them and theorizes that the Armitage family are planning on making him a sex slave. However when Chris mentions how strange the three black people he's met are acting, Rod throws him off guard implying that maybe Missy hypnotized them too.  

Just after hanging up with Rod, Georgina shows up to apologize regarding the phone, but her tone and the dangerously creepy way she's approaching Chris, unsettles him. He tries to break the ice by making a joke about being nervous around too many white people. Which causes something in Georgina to snap, breaking into tears before turning it into laughter, while creepily reassuring him that the Armitages treat her and Walter like family.  Much like what Dean said about them. She leaves. This was more than enough for Chris to suspect something was up.  

He steps outside and Dean introduces him to more friends. The Wincotts, The Jefferys, Hiroki Tanaka- wait what the fuck?  I thought this was an all white mostly black party, what's a Japanese guy doing there? Oh but I kid, see Peele wanted to show that minorities can also be envious of other minorities on top of just white vs black and vice versa.  Anywho  Tanaka asks if being an African American in the modern world has advantages and disadvantages.  At a loss for words, Chris asks Logan the same question.  While the answer Logan was given seemed very 5th Column, it was enough time for Chris to take a picture of Logan to send to Rod.  However due to him accidentally leaving the Flash on, it triggers something in Logan.  Suddenly his face turns into a frown, his eyes glow a slight white before it fades and his nose begins to bleed. Everyone including Chris stares at him in confusion, but that is when he utters the words we've all been waiting for since we saw them on the cover. "Get out.  GET OUT!!!"  He flips out and grabs Chris telling him that over and over, before Jeremy and the guests restrain him.  Dean dismisses the event as an epileptic attack and Logan seems to be back to "Normal" before leaving.  To lighten the mood, Dean tries to put the party back on track with sparklers and bingo. 

Chris and Rose go for a walk and while alone, Chris suspects that Dean was lying due to having an cousin with epilepsy and knowing it couldn't have been that.  Not only that, but he confesses to Rose that he felt like he knew Logan.  He claims that ever since Missy hypnotized him, he's been thinking of fucked up things and that he needs to leave.

While all that is going on, the "Bingo" game begins. Dean is hosting it and it seems that each person has already filled out their cards (With a not so subtle row of yellow dots on Tanaka's).  However as the camera pans out, of the Gazebo, we see that the "Prize" being shown is a large photo of Chris.  Dean being silent and giving signs similar to that of an auctionee- oh fuck.  This isn't a bingo tournament, this is a slave auction and the winning bidder, is Jim Hudson.  Of course. The one you'd least suspect. 

Chris confesses that there was a chance he could have saved his mother, but he didn't. A notion he came to regret. Because of that he promises to take her with him when he leaves. 

They walk back to the estate, as the guests were leaving.  With Jeremy playing ominously on the ukulele. While passing by Georgina, Walter, Missy and Dean all giving him creepy smiles. Before they start packing, Chris calls Rod.  Sending him the photo he took.  Rod immediately calls him back, telling Chris who Logan really is.  Andre "Dre" Hayworth an old friend of theirs.  When Chris mentions Philomena, Rod not only double's down on his Sex Slave theory, but warns Chris to leave.  The phone's battery dies and Chris rushes Rose and while he's packing his own stuff, he hears a noise.  He sees that Rose's closet door is open again. He goes to investigate and he finds a red box. In it he discovers photographs of Rose with various black partners including but not limited to Walter, Georgina and Andre. 

Chris runs into Rose again and asks for the car keys so he can put the bags in the trunk. Rose has trouble finding them, but they head downstairs anyway.  Jeremy blocks the door armed with a lacrosse stick and Missy comes out offering tea.  Rose, claims that they have to go take care of Chris' dog. But by the looks on their faces, they don't buy it.  Chris desperately asking Rose to get the car keys out, while Jeremy advances on him.  Dean comes out to the fireplace asking what Chris' purpose in life.  Mentioning fire as a reflection of their own mortality. Being born, breathing and dying.  Making a speech about being gods wrapped in cocoons. Chris gets impatient and yells for Rose to give the keys.  Jeremy takes a swing at him. Chris asks one more time only for Rose to bring them out. Now knowing she was in on whatever they were up to. Chris tries to take on Jeremy only for Missy to tap the teacup three times triggering his hypnosis. Putting his mind back in The Sunken Place and sedating his body. Chris can only watch helplessly as Jeremy and Dean carry him to the basement, with Rose remarking that he is one of her favourites. Just what are they planning to do to him?

Rod tries to call Chris the next day, but only gets voicemail.  He check's Chris' to feed his dog and look for him.  Then using his laptop he looks Andre up to find he's been missing since January 2016, that the search got cancelled and most importantly he spots a photo of him and Rose.  

Chris wakes up in what appears to be a rec room, strapped to a leather chair and sat in front of what appears to be an old analog TV. The TV plays a commerical style video in which Roman Armitage explains that Chris is here because he has been chosen by them to participate in the Coagula procedure.  Claiming that it unites a black person's physical advantages and a white person's determination. Even mentioning that the result would have him part of the family.  When the video ends, the TV changes the channel to footage of Missy stirring the tea cup and knocking Chris out again.

Meanwhile, Rod tries to get the police involved with Chris' disappearance. However they laugh at him when he mentions the sex slave theory.  

Rod doesn't give up though and tries calling Chris again. Only for Rose to answer.  Rose feigns knowing where Chris is, claiming he flipped out and left his phone behind.  Rod however sees holes in her story and tries to record her. However she not only catches on, but insinuates that Rod has been trying to fuck her. Now this part I never gotten, because I didn't know if she was trying to throw him off their trail or luring Rod over so that she can take him next.  Either way, though Rod flips out and hangs up remarking how genius her move was.  Also give Allison credit here, she was able to fake worry while still remaining stone faced on the phone. Either she's a great actress or a sociopath. 

 
Chris wakes up from his trance and the TV turns on once again.  Jim this time is on it and speaking directly to him through an intercom system.  He explains that the Coagula Procedure, Chris is chosen for comes in three stages.  The first being sedation, through hypnosis. The second, psychological pre-op. Explaining that, once Chris understands what is going on, that the procedure will work properly.   The third, transmutation.  Specifically they plan on replacing all of Chris' brain save for the stem, with Jim's.  Effectively letting Jim take over his body, with Chris' mind being in the passneger seat.  When Chris asks why Black people.   Jim himself never quite understood why, save for theorizing that many of them are envious, of what they view as the benefits of African American life.  Some want to be stronger, faster, cooler. However, Jim wants something much more than mere status and physical advantage.  He wants Chris' eyes so he can return to his former glory as a photographer.  And surprisngly that makes him the most evil and I'll tell you why later.

Chris noticed that the arms of the chair have been ripped from his post hypnotic scratching.  Finding cotton underneath.  The teacup shows up again, putting Chris back to sleep.  

As Dean prepares to extract Jim's brain, Jeremy goes to retrieve Chris. Upon untying him, Chris wakes up and knocks Jeremy senseless with a croque ball. He then impales Dean with a deer head trophy, causing him to stumble and hit some candles accidentally setting the basement on fire.

Upon leaving the basement, Chris finds Georgina, who runs away in fear. He confronts Missy who tries to subdue him with the teacup again only for Chris to break it. Chris risks impaling his own hand trying to take Missy's knife and killing her with it.  Just when he was about to get to the door Jeremy ambushes him intending to put him in a sleeperhold.  Chris using Jeremy's advice from earlier thinks three moves ahead. Trying to open the door twice, knowing Jeremy would try to close it with his foot.  The third time, Chris gets him with Missy's knife, subduing him long enough for Chris to stomp him to death.  

Chris takes Jeremy's car keys and tries to steal his car.

Meanwhile despite being in a burning building, Rose is listening to "Having the time of my life." While eating Froot Loops and searching for her next conquest on the net.  One of which, played by Key.  Rose, if you're thinking of hunting that guy down you may want to do some research. The man is crazier than you are and he's heir to Heinz Ketchup. He'll kill you. 

Chris mananges to get the car started and tries to drive away, only to accidentally hit Georgina.  Triggering his memories of his mother and prompting him to try to save her.  The action getting Rose's attention, revealing that Georgina is actually Marianne Armitage.  Which Chris learns the hard way, when she wakes up and attacks him for ruining her house.  The car crashes and Marianne along with Georgina dies.  Chris tries to escape on foot only for Walter, Roman Arimitage to chase him down.  Fun fact, the entire scene was meant to be the punchline of Roman's jealousy of Jesse Owens, but Peele thought him calling Chris, Jesse would have been too silly. 

Chris uses the camera flash just as Rose arrives with a rifle in her arms.  Walter takes over the body and tricks Rose into giving him the gun. Wounding her and killing himself so that Roman doesn't take over again.  

Rose tries one last desperate attempt to shoot Chris, but he disarms her.  Chris contemplates strangling her, despite her pleas, but when she smiles at him in defiance he lets her go.  A police car shows up, with Rose trying to make it look like Chris was attacking her, only for it to not be a Police Car.  But rather, Rod's TSA service Vehicle.  He grabs Chris and leaves an annoyed Rose to die on the street.  


This movie was pretty fucked up. In terms of horror, it's not quite a unique premise, but it does havea unique spin on it.  Peele was able to mix traditional horror, with social commentary. Referencing the movies of old, while giving every scene a point.  Now comes the time where I talk about a few things. 


First of all this movie needs to be seen at least twice.  One to run through it and two to capture details.  

Case in point, Walter/Roman.  Now on the surface, it seems to be an allegory for slavery, as rather than use modern tools like gas powered lawnmowers and chainsaws, Walter instead does everything the slow and hard way.  Push mowers, raking, using an axe.  One would think the Armitages are making him break his back for money.  However upon knowing who Walter is, it comes off in a whole new light.  Dean mentioned that Roman almost got over losing to Jesse Owens.  Since Roman now has a black body of his own and still retains his olympic skills from the 1930s, he uses old fashioned methods of building muscle and speed. That scary look on his face when he startled Chris with his hard running, was really just Roman in full concentration on the run.  

The real allegory for slavery is Georgina/Marianne. However not in the traditional sense. Throughout the movie it's been hinted that Georgina was fighting Marianne on the inside, with no exposure to flashing lights to boot. The scene where she breaks down, before Marianne takes over again, shows a clear example of two minds fighting for control of one body and one mind dominating and enslaving the other.  

Then there's Rose's actions knowing now what you didn't know then.  When the cop asked for I.D., we initially thought that it was racial profiling at play.  However considering how many black people were in those photos, it's safe to say that maybe that cop also caught wind of how many were missing Upstate and he wanted to make sure Chris wasn't one of them. Then of course her acting like she's offended by her family, lulling Chris into a false sense of security. The scariest part about her is up until after she reveals herself for the evil she is, we almost believe her.

Then of course there's the man who wanted Chris' eyes. Jim.  While he insists he's not racist, he represents another problem that people overlook.  You can be as tolerant as tolerant can be, but if you've found an intolerant system you can abuse for your benefits, then you'd go for it.  Much like he did.  And to his credit, he mentioned he'd be fine if it were anyone of any colour. However that doesn't make it better. 

Now the thing that really intrigued me about this, wasn't so much how bad the family was, but how they view themselves.  It would have been very easy for them to be Conservtive without changing a thing in the story.  However Peele decided to go the opposite direction and go after the White Liberal side of things.  Positive discrimination turning into envy and eventually the most horrifying attempt at cultural appropriation that makes Blackface look like suntan gone wrong. 

Regarding Dean's Obama line, that there should be considered a red flag along with "Some of my best friends are X" If I were Chris (No pun on the movie intended), I would have said "Nope" and ran. The fact that Whitford sounded genuine about it, made it more scary. 

Rod represents the audience, his tone and voice represents how the audience would react to similar situations. However, I found it intriguing that among most jobs he could have gotten, he got TSA. As it turns out, while funny as they may be in the , Peele wanted at least one positive TSA character. 

Then there is Missy.  Whom uses hypnosis in an effort to help her customers possess other people's bodies.  Now where have I heard that before.   Of course, Being John Malkovich.   Keener who plays Missy, plays a woman named Maxine Lund whom started a side business with the door that allows any who enter to be John Malkovich.  Because of the simularities of both characters and the actress who played them, fans have speculated the connection.  Jordan Peele and Malkovich directore Spike Jonze, claim it's canon.  Make with that what you will, but it does explain a lot.  Maybe she got bored of possessing white people and tried to possess black people instead. 

Then there's that mental prison. The Sunken Place. Peele mentioned that he cried when he wrote that because he used it as a representation on how marginalized the black community was. They could see and hear the dangers around them but they couldn't be heard themselves. Hence why no matter how loud Chris screamed, no sound came. 

That being said, as someone who is a nut when it comes to Spirituality, Meditation and Hypnosis, I theorize that before Missy tainted it, the Sunken place was originally meant for more noble intentions. Like Poo's Mu training from Earthbound.

The movie is well acted especially by Georgina Andre's and Walter as they had the task of playing black people possessed by white people pretending to be how racist white people view black people.   Kaluuya gave a stellar performance as Chris and judging by what I've seen in the Nope promos, he's shaping himself to be quite the horror star. Allison was very convincing as both potetential victim and villain. Lil Rel was really good at drawing a line between snarky but loyal best friend, to crazy nut that no one can take seriously, only to be a hidden badass in the end.  Using his skills to find Chris.

The movie was nominated for 4 Oscars and won Peele "Best Original Screenplay". While nothing concrete has happened, fans have demanded a sequel. 

Thanks for readng. Stay safe.

Monday 7 November 2022

Straight Up Reviews: Resident Evil Welcome To Raccoon City

 

When I was a kid, I learned about Resident Evil through probably the funniest source.  A trailer for a game called Dino Crisis, in which you play a character in a more horror oriented version of Jurassic Park.  The narrator even saying "From The Makers Of Resident Evil."  It wasn't until I played the first game, that I became aware of the series. So far in my life the only games I've played in the series, is the first game, Outbreak and Code Veronica, but I follow the story closely right up into the 8th game or Village as it's called.  So needless to say I have sort of a somewhat good perspective on what a movie based off it is like.


In terms of the Resident Evil Movies, I've seen the first two, but stopped after due to lost interest.  Mainly due to two things.  

1. The gross hypocrisy of it's director.  Paul W.S. Anderson.  Anderson made his bones in the Video Game Movie business, by making an accurate faithful adaptation to Mortal Kombat.  The only flaw being that it was PG13.  Meaning no over the top violence, gore and dark comedy.  Yet, he fucked up severely all because he wanted to please his then wife. Mila Jovavich.  Paul, you're wasting your breath, she's into pedophiles.  I'm not kidding, her last husband was Luc Besson.  A man who courted a 12 year old girl, married her, got her pregnant and left her and her kid to do the Fifth Element, both the movie and the Element herself.  

2.  As a result of him putting her and her character Alice on a fucking pedestal, he had to sideline the real heroes and heroines to the story.  Either they get smaller parts or get killed in an undignified way.  Which wouldn't be a problem if the characters weren't the surviving characters of the fucking game. From Chris Redfield to Jill Valentine.  

Yet after seeing this movie, I am surprised that the RE fans dub this as the worst.  Saying that the Anderson films are masterpieces in comparison.  What the fuck?  Let's find out.


The movie takes place at first in the 1980s.   Chris and Claire Redfield are living in the Raccoon City Orphanage.  Raccoon City itself being a company town owned by the Umbrella Corperation.  The Orphanage is overseen by William Birkin, one of Umbrella's top scientists.  While there, she befriends a girl named Lisa Trevor, who hides her face behind a mask.  Little do the siblings know, the place is a front for Birkin to do his experiments.  Using the orphans as test subjects.  

The main story takes place in 1998 much like the first game. Claire, now an adult has hitched a ride with a trucker and his dog and on the way they accidentally run over a woman in the middle of the street.  However, despite being seriously injured, the woman had already got up and left as if nothing happened.  The trucker's dog licking up the blood that was left behind.  Ew. Meanwhile at a diner, Jill Valentine and Albert Wesker along with a few other cops from S.T.A.R.S. take turns picking on the rookie in the diner.  Leon S. Kennedy.  Who got transferred here as punishment for accidentally shooting a fellow officer during training. Jill befriends him, but he notices the waitress from the Diner is bleeding from her eye.  A condition she claims has been happening for weeks, but dismisses it as nothing.  I would like to remind you all that this was made in 2020, so even if this game and movie took place decades before, I still see it as an in-joke regarding how people dealt with Covid-19.

Claire heads to Chris' home and while there sees a strange hairless lady and her child staring at her.  Once inside, she meets Chris, who is also a S.T.A.R.S. and is already giving her the riot act for her actions coming here.  At this point it's said that she ran away from the orphanage and they've been estranged since.  She came back to warn Chris that through a friend of hers she met on a chatroom, named Ben Bertolucci, she found out that one of many Umbrella experiments have gone haywire.  That a virus has been put into the drinking water supply through a leak and it will cause great havoc.  Chris doesn't believe her, because Umbrella and William have been a big help in raising him and putting him through school. He leaves her to join with the other S.T.A.R.S. to report to the Raccoon City Police Department. All the while alarms are sounding and William Birkin is trying to evacuate his family.

Meanwhile, back at the Redfield house, Claire sees the woman she spotted earlier stalking around the house.  Painting the words "Itchy Tasty." in her own blood.  She finds the child under the table who seems more worried about Claire than the other way around.  For a good reason.  The mother comes running in the house shouting those written words on the top of her lungs as she tries to feast on Claire.  Claire manages to fight her off and escape, stealing Chris' bike.  

Now I've read numerous complaints and jokes regarding this scene as a cheap gimmick to add game easter eggs.  However, I see it in a different way.  For those that don't know "Itchy Tasty" was based off a journal entry in the first game, which details a man's slow progression from being a sane, stable and well individual, to a primitive yet still sentient, hungry flesh eating monster.  The words "Itchy Tasty" being him coming to the conclusion that whatever is infecting him is making him unbearably itchy and that he thinks the only way to relieve the itch is to feast on fresh healthy living flesh. Let me make something perfectly clear.  Yes it is an intentional Easter Egg, however I think all of you dismissing others using it, is fucking stupid and I'll tell you why.  That journal entry is meant to sum up every infected Zombie you've ever had to fight in games 1 to 5. He was the only one who was methodical enough to pencil it in. When he says "Itchy Tasty" they're all saying "Itchy Tasty."  Another thing they criticized was that Clair left the kid behind.  I'll tell you why that part's stupid later.

The RCPD, headed by Chief Irons (Played by the hilarious Donal Logue), has been in a meeting as their Bravo Team has not reported back from the Spencer Mansion.  With the exceptions of Irons and Kennedy, they all go to investigate.  During which, one member, Albert Wesker receives a page from a mysterious caller warning him that Raccoon City will be destroyed at 6:00 a.m.

As Claire is riding down the road, heading for Raccoon City Police Station she is nearly hit by William. Both of whom instantly recognize each other. A flashback is shown, where it turns out under the guise of getting her new family, William under Umbrella's orders tried to drag Claire down to the lab to experiment on her. Forcing her to run away. So needless to say he drives off faster. All while Raccoon City is going to hell.

The truck driver from the earlier movie is bitten by his dog and both are in the early stages of infection.  As a result of this, he finds himself crashing into the police station and walking in on fire.  With Leon none the wiser as he's sleeping at his desk.  Before the trucker could get to Leon, Irons kills him. Before leaving Leon in charge and trying to flee on his own. Warning Leon to close the gate.  Which he does for good reason.  

Redfield's team head to the Spencer mansion, only to discover that Bravo team's vehicle has been overturned and covered in blood and claw marks. The team itself missing. Wesker comes across a mutated Crow which Jill shoots. They answer the mansion and Wesker of all people suggest they split up to find Bravo Team faster. Stupid horror cliche but considering this takes place in the 90s based off of 90s horror game, it makes sense.

As Irons is trying to reach the city borders only to find himself in gridlock with other fleeing citizens. As if things can't get any worse, the Umbrella border security shoots at the vehicles to prevent people again out. Prompting Irons to flee back to the police station.

Meanwhile at the police station, in one of the most horrifying sequences imaginable, a group of citizens approached the gate demanding to be let in. Showing clear signs of infection. Chief Irons returns to the garage, only to be met by the truck driver's infected dog. Before the dog could get him, Claire arrives and kills it. More infected individuals show up shaking the gates as the infection degrades their mind. Their pleas for help turning into savage primal demands for their flesh. Claire tells Chief irons that she's looking for Chris and Leon finally gets an answer to what's going on. Irons explains that all the exits are blocked by Umbrella Corporation and that the only way that they could get out is by helicopter if they could just get a hold of the pilot.

Meanwhile at the mansion the split team explores every inch. With Wesker following a map on his PDA, prompting Jill to be suspicious of him.  While Chris and Richard discover a zombie feasting on what used to be Bravo team. After three warnings, Chris and Richard open fire on the zombie killing it. Now this is what I like more about this movie. While these characters have stupid moments sometimes they are not stupid. In fact they're a hell of a lot more confident than the ones in the first Resident Evil movie. Now before you Rain fans all try to Lynch me, hear me out. Rain, a trained Soldier is way Dumber, than what should be an ordinary cop at the time Chris Redfield. When she encounters the first zombie despite clear signs of the thing is either feral or rabid, something both a soldier, a cop in a medical officer should see clear signs of, she reaches out to try to grab the thing before it bites her. Chris on the other hand, keeps his distance, warns the thing not to go any closer and when it doesn't listen he kills it. And people wonder why he's a meme level badass.

However like I said they do do stupid things. Richard tries to find the other members of Bravo Team while Chris tries to save their dying teammate. They hear strange noises. The gunshots clearly drawing the attention of other monsters. Both find themselves cornered and subdued by more zombies coming out of the Woodworks. Richard is eaten alive but Chris, like the badass he is managed to fight them off while he goes to look for Jill and Wesker.

Their pilot Brad, is also attacked prompting him to take off his helicopter and a panic as he's dying. Jill and Wesker find themselves in Spencer's study with Wesker acting increasingly suspicious. Under orders from his PDA, he decides to enact a classic Resident Evil puzzle, by playing the first three notes to Moonlight Sonata by Ludwig van Beethoven. Which open a secret door. Before he could see what was in there, the helicopter crashes into the mansion. Jill just barely getting herself and Wesker out of the way. 

Claire and Leon get into the Armory and arm themselves. Leon hears A noise and finds Ben, who is locked up with that infected individual that is moments away from making lunch out of him. He tries to warn Leon about what Umbrella Corporation has been doing, as well as making a note of how the cops aren't sick like the rest of the city. Believing that Umbrella maybe gave them something to keep them from being infected.

Now this part, as ridiculous as it may sound to most people I am kind of glad they said that and I'll tell you why. The one thing that really really bugged me about the Resident Evil games is that they made it perfectly clear that if a zombie or creature bit or scratched you, you would be infected with the respective virus. As as the player character, if you're a novice and most likely going to get bit or scratched up by a monsters first chance you get, you don't get infected once. Which is even more strange because it's also implied that there are cures of these viruses. The closest you've ever gotten to being an infected individual in the game series is when you play Ethan Winters from Resident Evil 7 and Village. In seven he was already infected and in Village he was already dead and walking. Yet, I believe it would raise the stakes in the game higher if there was a chance that the player characters could possibly get infected regardless of how they survived the plot. However, the fact that they actually managed to give some kind of explanation to why these characters are less likely to get infected, was the final nail in the love coffin I have for this movie.

Ben takes Leon's gun and demands him to be let out, but before he could the infected individual gets Ben. It would have gotten Leon too if not for the timely intervention of Claire Redfield. Who just discovered that it killed Ben. The zombie gets back up and Leon gets his first foray into badassery by killing it.

Irons tries and vein to call the helicopter not knowing that it's destroyed. While Jill and Wesker recover from the explosion. They approached the Secret Door, with Wesker in shock about how true the instructions were. Jill finally demands answers and Wesker explains. Months before the events of this movie, a secret group hired him to extract all of the Umbrella Corporation dirty secrets, before Raccoon City gets destroyed. Jill is obviously distraught because he basically betrayed her and their friends for money and are planning to leave time to die. At first it looked like Wesker was going to shoot her then and there only for him to move her out of the way and shoot the zombie that was approaching them.  

More and more zombies Converge on the Raccoon City Police Department Gates, which can barely hold them for long. Irons finds an alternative route for him, Leon and Claire to follow. While fighting out the zombies that just broke in. Attention to head for the mountains before Raccoon City blows.

Irons, Leon and Claire enter the orphanage. Irons explains that the orphanage has a secret passage that leads to Spencer mansion and that Umbrella Corporation paid a million to keep his mouth shut about their activities. A notion that Claire calls him out for. Leon notices both something crawling across the ceiling as well as coming across the now grown up Lisa Trevor. Who tries to warn him to be quiet. That whatever is there is above them. He tries to get Irons' and Claire's attention, only for Lisa to disappear. Whilst Iron's is snatched up by one of the most well-known Monsters of old Resident Evil. The Licker. A long tongue, extremely feral monster that hunts by sound. Needless to say Irons didn't make it. Before it could have Leon for dessert, Lisa Trevor shows up and Saves the Day. Beating the shit out of that monster and breaking its neck. She recognizes Claire right away and vice versa. Helping the two find a way out. Now this part is one of the few things even the detractors agree on as being one of the best moments. As Lisa Trevor is a tragic monster in the games who is very hard to kill. So hard to kill that literally takes her own hand to do it. And despite her size surprisingly strong. The fact that she was able to have very least made a friend or two through Claire and Leon, gave many sympathizers much needed relief.

As they make their way through, Lisa gives Claire keys telling her the second key is the way out. With the lock hidden within a painted wall. Leon and Claire leave but Lisa stays. Saying Claire's name one more time.

As Chris searches for Jill and Wesker, he increases his bad ass credentials by killing more zombies on the way. However he ends up doing what many players have done, despite the fact that they're supposed to be playing a survival horror game. Running out of bullets. Just one it seems to be it for him, Jill arrives to save the day. Jill informs Chris of Wesker's betrayal. And they follow him, through the same Secret Door he took. 

As Claire and Leon make their way closer to where Chris and Jill are heading, Claire discovers a room with a film projector. The film showing, that umbrella has been experimenting on children for a long time. That William Birkin has a supervising every single experiment on these kids whether they survive or not.

Meanwhile, William Birkin and his family are at the lab. With William taking the G virus samples. Wesker comes across them demanding the case they are in. Wesker holds the family A gunpoint, but William it's the drop on him. Wounding Wesker, but getting fatally wounded himself. William's wife Annette tries to take the vials only for Wesker to headshot her. Prompting their daughter Sherry to hide. As Wesker goes to take the vials he discovers that William injected himself with one of them. Prompting him to shoot him so he doesn't turn. Only to realize that the kid is still there. Prompting him to go find her. Only for Jill to fatally shoot him. They share a last laugh together, before Wesker in a fit of atonement reveals that there's a train that will lead them to the neighboring town of Gatlin. Out of Raccoon City before it blows. Wesker dies.

As Claire and Leon, get closer to finding Chris, Jill and Sherry, William comes back from the dead through the G virus as it slowly mutates him. Chris tries to hide from William while the rest try to escape, with William taunting him throughout the whole way. Revealing his true colors. For marking that he and Claire would have made excellent test subjects. Before he could kill Chris, Claire shoots him to shit with a shotgun. Chris, now finally disillusioned by Umbrella Corporation and William Birkin does the coup de gras. They all make it to the train the train, but William follows them. Now a bigger monstrosity than before. Raccoon City crumbles apart as the train derails. William grabs Claire while Chris tries in vain to shoot him. Claire Williams in the eye, prompting him to let her go. Once out of harm's way, Leon shows up and finishes William off with a rocket launcher.

Raccoon city is completely destroyed. With the official data of no survivors. Only to be proven wrong when Chris and Claire Redfield, Jill Valentine, Leon Kennedy and Sherry Birkin walk out of the tunnel into Gatlin. During a post credit scene, Ada Wong resurrects Wesker, now blind and wearing sunglasses.


Now in my personal opinion I think this is the best Resident Evil movie. However as much as people are entitled to their opinions on why they think it's worse I think what they say is flimsy.

Complaint #1: the cast does not look like the characters.

I myself believe in ability over appearance but even then there have been times where I myself would have been on the same page. However this is not one of those times.  Now in the Games Leon Kennedy and Jill Valentine in terms of nationality are Italian American and French-Japanese American respectfully.  So I get if they were going the nationality route I would understand, however, they're going the racist route by attacking both Avan Jogia and Hanna John-Kamen. Simply because they didn't "look" the part.  Michael Clarke Duncan didn't look the part for Wilson Fisk aka The Kingpin, but people still see him as better than the current MCU version (Whom despite my hatred of all things MCU post Phase 3, I admit is no slouch either.). So why not give them a chance. She's still trigger happy and he's just getting his bad ass credit in.  That being said look at these pictures of the game:



These were from their respective first games Resident Evil 1 and 2 the original 1996/1998 games to be specific.  Now before you all say a goddamn word first. I agree. Looks change over the years and these two along with many famous characters from the games have changed their looks over the years. Not to mention despite characters like Link from Zelda having a variety of hair changes despite being Canonically blond just to name a small example of that.  However while many so called hardcore Resident Evil Fans fail to realize is that Leon alone has had many inconsistent changes in his appearance, but the most talked about is often the colour of his hair.  With the exception of Resident Evil 4, Leon Kennedy was never a blonde. He was a brunette. That being said, the movie itself seemed to hint that Avan may one day get the look.  Specifically the funny moment when Irons tells him to get a haircut.   Considering he, along with Chris, Claire, Jill and Sherry are all missing and presumed dead within the continuity of this movie, it's safe to say should a sequel happen, he may have to bleach his hair among things lest corrupt Umbrella and other organizations want him. They already introduced Ada Wong in the movie so needless to say, she'd be the first to try hunt him down.

Then you have Jill. Much like Leon, I'll give some wiggle room to the fact that she was limited by her character design. As she shows up as brunette here despite games and Anderson Movies establishing her as a redhead.  However with one small problem.



This is Jill Valentine.  The first Live Action Jill Valentine.  No not Sienna Guillory (Sorry Sienna on top of being Sidelined as Alice's beta girl, you don't even have the distinct honour of even being the first Jill Valentine in live action.)  This isn't just the first live action Jill Valentine, this is the first Jill Valentine period.   

For you noobs let me explain.  When Resident Evil was first coming out in 1996. It was around the time when people were transitioning from consoles like Sega CD and Saturn and onto PS1,  however Saturn was still considered a big enough threat to warrant some competition and port space for it.  Much like CD before it, Saturn has a library of games that utilize full motion video technology.  Mixing live action footage with game graphics to offer then at the time a more realistic experience in gaming. Of course easier said than done.  How did Sony's version top that off? Rather than fully immerse us into FMV, it kept it at the cut-scenes, while the game itself utilized the latest graphics and tech at the time.  Jill herself was played by a high school student known only as Inezh. And judging by the picture here, her red hair is obviously dyed.  The way I see it, it wasn't something they thought of at the time, but in the grand scheme of things in continuity of the game, I believe that Jill Valentine was never really a real redhead.  That she dyes her hair and maintains the colour on a usual basis, but during the attack, in a combination of stress, nearly getting killed and having god knows what kind of fluids, splattered on her with each kill, it reverted it to it's natural brunette state. 


So ya, in terms of physical looks in comparison to those games, it's safe to say they did a damn good job.  Had they kept making movies after, Jill may have sported red for the same reason Leon would later sport brown. To hide their identities.


Complaint #2: The main characters got nerfed in favour of Claire.

Ok, this one is actually directed at a certain fan of the games I argued with.  While I respect other's opinion it's quite clear this person was not watching the same movie as me, because they claimed that none of the characters even did anything and Claire got all the best action scenes.  Claiming that the other characters, whom in the game are known bad-asses, suddenly got weak and couldn't fight back while Claire did most of the work.  So I decided while this person remains nameless, to humiliate them and any agree in public.  

First of all where do I begin.  In terms of the character's competency in a fight against monsters and zombies.   First of all, lest we forget, these people are not military officers.  They are Police Officers. They hail from Raccoon City Police Department.  They are not even SWAT, just a basic tactical team that got lucky some survived. It was like that in the game, it's like that in the movie. None of them with the exception of whatever the fuck Umbrella gave them to somewhat immunize them from the outbreak, were born badass.  Chris Redfield wasn't punching bolders, Leon Kennedy wasn't protecting some president's daughter and Jill didn't even get the nickname "Supercop" yet.  The hardest part of adapting characters from a fucking video game and this applies to all video games, is because these characters to gamers aren't characters.  They are avatars of us and how we'd do things should a situation or scenario of the games arise.  Since many of these self-entitled so called hardcored puritan fans that hump their Lady Dimitrescu Body Pillows every night, claim to be experts at beating the games, they immediately assume that Hollywood should make them badass by default.  In other words for all their complaints along with my own about what a Mary Sue Alice is, they want the others to be sues. Should they show the slightest fault or mistake in their characters then suddenly they're nerfed.  THIS IS LITERALLY SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE SERIES!!! NONE OF THE SHIT YOU ALL BOASTED ABOUT BEATING HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET!!! YOU BASEMENT DWELLING FUCKS HAVE TOO LOW AND SLOVENLY A LIFE TO EVEN THINK YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO TOO HIGH A STANDARD OF WHAT SHOULD OR WHAT SHOULDN'T BE IN A BADASS CHARACTER YOU HYPOCRITICAL PROJECTOR JERKOFFS!!!  Point being, these characters are their own entities when it comes to movies, you have no access to the controller here. So deal with it. And FYI Leon blew up the last boss with an RPG.  If that's what you call nerfed, then you really should look up that word. I don't think it means what you think it means. Fuck you.


That being said, those paying attention to neither Leon and Jill doing anything overlooked the part where, without a single bite or scratch on him, Chris "Boulder Punching Asshole" Redfield was able to push off an entire horde of zombies, despite strength in numbers and one of his partners not being so lucky.  They were already starting to give Chris badass moments in small doses so that when he eventually hardens like he did int he games, it'd look more real.


Complaint #3 Pointless Easter Eggs

One of the biggest complaints outside the story and characters, was that the fans claimed that the director was only doing shout outs of the games with no real substance whatsoever.  I call immense bullshit on it.  I won't waste what I've literally written for months at this point, on telling all of them, but let me break down the two I seen people complain about the most.

Easter Egg #1: Jill Sandwich

During the Diner Scene, Wesker bets Jill his sandwich that she couldn't hit a ketchup bottle with a dart gun if it were balanced on Leon's head while he was sleeping.  She takes the bet, shoots Wesker with the dart and hits the bottle off Leon's head with the gun.  Before victoriously claiming "It's a Jill Sandwich now." People cringed at this scene and I had no idea why because at the time it's been a while since I played the first game.  So looking up "Jill Sandwich" I understand why, but I hate the reason anyway for two reasons which I will explain.  First off, it was based off a level that caused me to nearly quit the games on my first try.  In the Spencer Mansion you find a shotgun on the wall. At the time I had no idea how to solve it and as a result I saw that the next room lead me to a collapsing ceiling trap, which I had limited time to escape.  If you escape the trap as Jill, another S.T.A.R.S. member, named Barry Burton, remarks that she almost became a Jill sandwich.  I heard the joke, it wasn't funny and it was poorly executed, but I'm not talking about the one in this movie. I am talking about the game, but I'll explain why I don't think it's funny later. You guys went up in arms for an Easter egg that was based off a badly translated, badly executed joke?  There's defending comedy from Cancel Culture and there are brain dead idiots defending something that they claim is a staple of their childhood games, but really just stimulates the only part of the brain that has feeling left of it to cope with the empty sad existence your lives are now.  It's a stupid joke and the reason why it became a meme was because of how stupid it was.  The fact that they tried to make a better joke out of it, is why I defend this scene to the death. That and despite what you may think they at least showed even with Wesker, that these people have a great chemistry and dynamic with each other, that you'd truly believe that they'd be friends in real life.  As opposed to the few and in between quiet moments between Alice and her meatshields....I mean friends. Nope. 

Meatshields is accurate. I knew Wesker was evil, because I followed the game's lore, but even in this movie, his betrayal and death still saddened me and his resurrection, especially when he dawns the shades the first time, scares the hell out of me.


Easter Egg #2: Itchy Tasty.

Those two words, among most things, was what established Resident Evil from simply a Sci-Fi/Action Game with some horror elements, to a full blown, piss your pants horror.  The words first came from a diary found in the mansion by the S.T.A.R.S. member you play.  So depending on your perspective, either Chris or Jill read it. The Diary itself accurately depicts the slow degradation of body and mind of a T-Virus Infectee before they become a zombie.  Many people complained that rather than be found in the Mansion it's later sprawled in blood at the Redfield Residence and later screamed by the bald mom zombie. The result of which in their eyes reduced it to an easter egg to please fans.  Bullshit. Bullshit!! BULLFUCKINGSHIT!!  That diary wasn't just some random piece of lore, through it, the S.T.A.R.S. that were lucky to survive knew exactly what was going on in the minds of every infectee before full zombification and in my opinion with the exception of the Dead Films, is probably the scariest depiction of Zombie infection I have ever seen.  Unlike the Anderson Films, where the change varies based on plot and the resulting infections turn the creatures into mindless hungry zombies in almost an instant to a few hours depending on movie time, this version is more accurate to the games. In which the people infected are still sentient and sapient, but are in so much pain from the infection changing their bodies, that they believe to reduce that pain or in this case the Itch, they have to feed on fresh flesh.  Otherwise they would have ate each other in a primal state.  To put it simpler they start out with "Please help us." and end with "PLEASE LET US EAT YOU SO WE CAN FEEL BETTER!!!" Ya, scary. 

 

That barely scratches the surface on the Easter Eggs, but I'm sure there are others people have complained about.

 

Complaint #4: They put the first two games together and that's bad for some reason.

Oh bitch bitch bitch.......bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch......bitch. No seriously.  Both games take place around the same time, so needless to say I think it's better to sum up all of Raccoon's arcs into one story.  That way if others are like the first two, you'd only need  4 - 5 movies to sum it up. The first 2 movies dealing with the events of the first two games and third game, before building up to Leon's adventures in 4.  7 and 8 should also get this treatment since they open and close the story on Ethan Winters.  There are literally thousands of game franchises who's levels can literally be merely chapters in one movie rather than dedicate thousands of movies and shows into figuring out Chapters 1 and 2.


Complaint #5: Overdose of 90s references

Ok I'll give you this one.  Movies in the modern day, trying to depict a timeline most modern viewers don't know shit about, is good for a chuckle on my end.  That being said, there wasn't really an overdose.  At the very least of 90s reference.  The only three 90s things I even seen were the tech at the time (VCRs and Big Box Monitors for all you so called evolved people.) and the first talks about the Internet and The Chat Room.  That's not an overdose, that's merely establishing a timeline.  The closest one ever got to an overdose of any references, was when Chief Irons chews out Wesker, whom almost got caught texting Ada Wong through is PDA.  Making references to Planet Hollywood, Journey, Blockbuster, things like that, but they seem to be a mix since PH was 90s, Blockbuster was Mid 80s, but Journey has been around since 1973.  If anything that's more of a 70s to 80s reference.  With said Journey Song playing when Irons tries to haul ass.  If you think these references are considered overdoses, I direct you to the MCU once again.  Who is literally a commercial revenue dollar away from switching dialogue in superhero movies to simply saying the names of popular brands and other media. Like when MacGruber got Pepsi obsessed. That commercial felt more vulgar than the entirety of MacGruber's career. The problem is that they are references you Zoomers consider to be museum pieces.


Complaint #6: The Creators Never Played a Resident Evil Game in Their Life.

Hahaha....Fuck you.  If they never played a single Resident Evil game in their life, then why are they going all the way out there to reboot the franchise, make it more accurate to the games as opposed to sidelining and killing these characters in favour of Alice?  Why go through all the trouble of actually trying to make Raccoon City look like Raccoon City as opposed to super imposing TORONTO with an Atom Bomb explosion.  And you wonder why I dislike Anderson, granted it wasn't his intention, but he showed my fucking city up in flames just so he could please his wife.  This was a guy who we all relied on to make a great Resident Evil games, because he did a great job with Mortal Kombat, but nooooo.  All he did was make shitty movie after shitty movie. And if you think Mortal Kombat gets him a free pass and gives you a free pass to pick on this movie, then fuck you all. Anderson wore out his welcome with Video Game movies ever since he started Resident Evil Movies. Not even the brief cult following of Alien Vs Predator could save him now.


Complaint #7:William Birkin Talking

First of all I'm well aware that Birkin was a mindless monster upon Leon and Claire's encounter of him in the games.  However, him talking in the midst of his mutation doesn't bother me for the following reason.  The biggest surprise of the games and what should have been the movies was that the later monsters we face, BOWs, Tyrants, Nemesis, Mr. X and even Lady Dimitrescu are not as mindless as the Zombies and Lickers we encounter before. They can think, they can reason, but they still, murder kill and try to eat everything in their path, simply because it's in their nature now.  Unlike the poor souls suffering, these ones revel in their kills.  When Chris, Clair and later the rest of the survivors encounter him, it's at different stages of his mutation.  He was still human and still of sound mind, when he went after Chris and only became mindless after not just further mutating, but dealing with the trauma of being shot one too many times even if it didn't kill him yet.  We don't know exactly what went on in the games prior to Game Birkin becoming mindless, but for all we know, he could have undergone the same temp sentience and sapience. That said, if not for him, Leon wouldn't have that last kill in the end. 


Complaint Village (aka #8):  The rest.

A lot of this is minor bullshit compared to the rest, so I'll sum them up, before I get to the 9th and final.

Lisa Trevor Helping instead of Hunting

Considering all the shit she went through in the game, she deserves a somewhat happier outcome here.

CGI Effects Unrealistic (Aka PS2 Graphic Argument Bullshit)

This is a movie based off a PS1 game.  Calling it PS2 Graphics compliments more than insults it. 

Less Monsters than the other movies.

Well duh, the outbreak just started and let's re-clarify, this is not a video game, this is a movie.  If we applied real life consequences to the amount of monsters we killed in the games despite them randomly popping out for more, then we'd realistically wipe out half the population of Raccoon City.  Game over, no further story, no outbreaks, just a boring sci-fi thriller involving a pharmacy group and some terrorists. Lady D would still exist, but you wouldn't be able to meet her. 

Jill left Zombie-Mom's kid behind.

This one is very stupid and I'll tell you why.  During the scene, it shows the mother is infected, just a few steps away from becoming a zombie.  Her child, is also showing stages of infection.  Meaning for all intents and purposes, that kid was already dead.  Since Claire was the first of the main characters to know the truth about Umbrella, odds are she knew that if she tried to help the kid either the mother will keep chasing them or the kid will end up killing them all later.

The 9th most major complaint: It wasn't serious enough.

Ok, this is the last fucking straw and I'll tell you why. First and foremost, I take a lot of shit for liking the Snyder-Verse DC movies, because many people thought that among most things they were too serious for movies based on comic books. I made it clear on many occasions with these people because not only have there been some moments of levity that were handled way better than the MCU could ever do, but what they lack in verbal comedy to relieve the tension, they make up tremendous for in physical comedy.  To put it short, they're a lot funnier when you're able to get the joke.  This movie however gets treated worse than what most Snyder Fans treat the MCU like.  They think the memes ruin the horror, they think some of the funny scenes should be cut down and that we should be shown a serious horror movie revolving around zombies and bioweapons.  Fuck you.

No seriously fuck you.  Unlike MCU, which milked something Joss Whedon already dried out, Resident Evil was meant to be a dark comedy from the start.  The Dialogue even if it was poorly translated at the time, was the stuff of legends in memes and a lot of things from the first game may have been unintentional due to the limited tech at the time. However rather than simply try to suppress the comical side, Capcom and Resident Evil embrace it for all it's worth.  The recent game has one of the bosses refer to Redfield as that "Boulder Punching Asshole" as a reference to one of his many feats.  Not to mention in the original game on top of zombies and monsters, you had do deal with a mutant shark and a giant snake.  Two things that would be completely out of place in a survival horror, yet here they are. 

The games became very deadpan and very dark, but they're still comedic.  The movie itself was just guilty of adding more to the comedy.  How can anyone not find the burning walking corpse of a truck driver, wandering into a police station, while still on fire, while Leon is sleeping unaware and the music he's listening too plasters the background as the man walks in.  The song in general:

Crush by Jennifer Page.  First and only time I ever heard this song and it was after the 90s was long dead. 

How can no one find that funny?

If the games were meant to be taken seriously, they wouldn't be bombarding us with things to watch, listen and laugh at.  I only ask that you give this movie the same chance.  When you get right down to it, it's the only Resident Evil movie out there for now.  The Anderson Movies and The Netflix do not count. 

Give this movie a chance, apologize to the actors and most importantly be good. Or I will go after you.


Straight Up: Man that was a long vacation.  Wait, who finished the review.  It's my writing and my thoughts on the subject....who are.....no......it can't be. 

Eldra: Don't mind me, just getting this done. You had this in draft since last August. 

Straight Up: Fair enough, but this isn't the universe you belong to.  You really should get back or S.T. might make your character do something really embarassing. You may have Lovecraft powers, but he controls the narrative.

EldraOh please what's he gonn-

S.T.: *Dubbing Over* Be sure to checkout the Lovecraft Noir Series on Bandcamp, as well as it's spin-off Elda

EldraYou son of a b--

In all seriousness, try actually watching the movie and pay attention to every detail rather than spout off bullshit. Opinions matter, but not when they have holes in them.  Take care, stay safe and watch out for shady Pharmacy companies that name their serums after letters. Say what you will about the Covid Vaccine, but I'd much rather take my chances with it, than the T-Virus and G-Virus any day.