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Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Top 10 Crappy Pick Up Lines of George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg

Well with Jurassic Park IV and Disney's Star Wars being in development hell I might as well crack a few jokes at the expense of their respective Filmmakers Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.  While I respect the hell out of them.  I also dislike much of their film choices in the dreaded late 90s early 2000s period as at the time they both violated the sacred pact of a good filmmaker "If it ain't Broke. Don't fix it."  So I warn you so called "pure" fans that much of what I say may insult them.  You can flame me all you want, but don't ever say I show disrespect.  Anywho the reason for this specific list is because I often noticed in both their films, much of their romance scenes often sound like the heroes are trying to pick up their respective love interests like they were at a bar.  The famous example being Han and Leia's Dialogue In Empire Strikes Back, when he assumed she didn't want him to leave because of her feelings for him.

This list goes like so.  10 lines, 5 for each filmmaker.  These are meant to be crappy, but if you get a good laugh from them more power to you.  Let's Start With Lucas.

10. I always shoot first.
9. I got away with duck tits, who knows what I can do with you.
8. Wanna see my lightsaber?
7. The hornyness is strong with this one.
6. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can ever imagine.

Now Spielberg

5. You're gonna need a bigger bed.
4. Do I have a Walkie Talkie in my pocket or am I just happy?
3. To me X always marks the spot.
2. You know that boulder chasing Indy? Look down.
1. How about I have a close encounter with all three of you.

In the comments below I encourage all who read this to come up with lines that work with your favorite filmmakers.  I am actually curious to what you come up with.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Bonus for both of them:

For Lucas: I'm ashamed of the Holiday Special, but I'm not ashamed of you.
For Spielberg: Schindler's not the only one with a list. Look at my black book.

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