Internet Defense League


Tuesday, 14 May 2013


Ok I think it's asleep......

What started out as a crazy mess of side scrolling beat 'em up and racing, became a short series of games with a huge cult following.  Battletoads was one of those titles that shoulda went somewhere but didn't. And why not, there were four games, and a crossover with Double Dragon.  However while it was a well received game, much of the reason it was cast aside was because non fans of the game claimed it was a rip of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  And who can blame them the bipedal amphibians and reptiles look alike in color scheme and design on the surface. Not to mention it was competing with other TMNT knock offs such as Street Sharks and extreme dinosaurs. However unlike them who simply just retold the turtle origin story with different methods of mutation, the story of Battletoads did a better job for their own story.  When I was a kid I got introduced to Battletoads through the Super NES game, Battlemaniacs.  It's a good game but it was hard as hell to play and I could only get to the racing level.

The story goes like so, 3 unnamed human computer technicians and roommates of a popular virtual reality gaming company, (Where have I heard that one before?) were about to test the Battletoads game they created in a virtual simulation.  However it turns out to be a trap by their boss Silas Volkmire, who whisks them away in the virtual reality they created.  In the process the humans become bipedal toads with cartoonish abilities and superstrength.  While trying to get out they run a foul not only of Volkmire but also have to rescue Princess Angelica and in a unique twist one of their own friends (Pimple) from the Dark Queen, one of video game history's first female villains save for Mother Brain.  She wants nothing more than to destroy the toads and take over the universe. 

Now for the fun part Could It Exist In Real Life?

Now for starters, Virtual Reality even now has been a concept that was played with in all factions from simple gaming, to both civilian and military simulators. So obviously it exists. The fact that the Battletoads are actually human gaming technitians explains how they are able to perform such cartoonish moves like turning their fists into anvils. 

The Battletoads  themselves on the other hand are a different story, they do exist.  While in the game there are 3 and the names in the world are, Pimple, Zitz and Rash. There are actually only 2.  Their names are Tim and Chris Stamper.  That's right folks, the head of Rare software, responsible for Conker, and Banjo Kazooie as well as improving many of Nintendos games in the 90s such as Star Fox and Donkey Kong; Are the Battletoads. More specifically they are Rash and Zitz.  As for Pimple I do not know whom they based him on, but it is a mystery I plan to find out one day. 

As for Dark Queen, she is the world's first internet troll.  Think about it, they are in a futuristic/medieval  virtual world, surrounded by monsters and stuff.  She is dressed like royalty yet she talks in slang and slur no different than 90s kid and rather than simply going through all the stupidity most villains even the good ones, she wants nothing more to do than kill them. That there is a griefer an internet troll of online gaming that does nothing more than go all around cyberspace killing and taunting other game characters. 

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More.

No comments:

Post a Comment